Guys: How to Date After Divorce

By QuickieChick Laurel House.

Getting back in the dating game after having pulled yourself out for however long you were committed in a relationship can be fun, then frustrating, and eventually lonely. If you have kids, you are adding a whole new level to your dating/daddy life. How do you accommodate both your bachelor dreams and child's needs?

Those first few months (or maybe even years) of not being half of a whole, you take full and complete advantage of your renewed freedom. Dating (or bedding), let's be honest pretty much anyone who smiled at you.
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Soon, you get comfortable in your singleness, totally uninterested in someone new doing so much as leaving lip gloss in the nightstand or a toothbrush on the bathroom counter. After awhile the same old same old becomes lonely and you look for someone who you can actually hold a conversation of meaning with. So you go on a serious dating (not bedding) rampage. But how do you know you'll do it right this time around?
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Allison Pescosolido MA and Andra Brosh PhD, co-founders of Divorce Detox, have a few words of advice for those of you who are newly single, no longer interested in just a one-night mingle, and seriously ready to consider getting serious again…

How Do You Make A Bachelor Pad Kid Friendly?
If you have part-time custody of your kids, it's important that your bachelor pad is also conducive and comfortable for your kids. They need their own space, and so do you. Kids like to have a voice and to be included, so talk to them about what they would like to experience in the new space.
-Do they want bunk beds?
-A cool bulletin board to post notes?
-A television in their room?
If yours isn't their "primary" home, let them bring stuff from their other home over to this new home to make it feel comfortable. Everything doesn't have to be new, and if things can't be parted with at the other home, think about buying a second version.

Be aware that younger kids rough-house and spill things, so while you can maintain a sense of "adultness" in the house, keep a designated space where you don't have to worry about things breaking or getting ruined.

Stock the fridge with yummy items that they love. It's okay to have some treats (even if they have a no sugar policy at your Ex's house), and foods that you know they will eat.
READ: 5 Ways to Make "Unhealthy" Food Healthy

How Do You Date Again Without Repeating The Same Mistakes
Prior to dating, you want to be sure you are clear about how you contributed to the breakdown of your previous relationship. What a person is not aware of, they will repeat. Self-knowledge and personal insight are the keys to successful dating and new relationships. Do an inventory of the skills you want and need to learn to have a successful relationship going forward. Hiring a professional to help you assess and improve your relationship strengths and weaknesses can expedite this process.

xx
Laurel (want more? download the FREE QuickieChick Guide: Fit to Flirt e-book)

Laurel House is a lifestyle author, expert, writer, personal trainer and the "QuickieChick." Her "quickies" are all about making the most out of every moment- whether it's a saddlebag-burning "Quickie Workout in Bed," a metabolism-boosting "Bites with Benefits" meal, or how to get a $150 spa-quality skin peel out of a $1 tomato and lemon at-home Refrigerator Facial. Her YouTube videos have received over 6 million views and now you can get even more Quickie Tips in her new book "QuickieChick's Cheat Sheet to Life, Love, Food, Fitness, Fashion and Finance on a Less than Fabulous Budget"(St. Martin's, May 2012).