What a Guy's Underwear Says About Him

Anna Breslaw, Glamour magazine

Your man's undies indicate a lot about who he is! For example, diapers equal baby or extremely old person.

See more: 7 Signs of True Love

I, for one, certainly give a lot of thought to the ol' thong vs. boyshort vs. bikini-cut when it comes to lingerie, even though the guy I'm seeing might not even notice. We've asked about your preference between boxers and briefs, but this morning I got to thinking about dudes' underthings (which sounds way pervier than it actually was) and decided that to truly know who you're dating, you gotta get into their pants-y'know, literally. Because I am an anthropologist. You're welcome.

See more: 19 Cute Celebrity Hairstyles to Consider

Briefs:
He's either Christian Bale in American Psycho ("I have to go return some videotapes") or someone's dad. Or a Calvin Klein model. In which case, go for it, and ask him to do Blue Steel for you.

Boxer-briefs:
Some girls think this is just right, but I dunno. Does he have trendy glasses? I feel like he has trendy glasses and a haircut and kind of looks like Rachel Maddow.

Boxers:
He is low-key, might smoke weed and definitely doesn't care about fashion. He likes beer. He is probably a husky. Fax him to me!

See more: Spring 2012's Most Wearable Fashion Trends

Man-thongs, a.k.a. c*ck-socks
: Bah, really? Does he have a John Waters moustache, too? That seems right. Also, if he seems stiff to you, that's because he's a mannequin.

Mesh underwear:
Negotiable, but I suspect you're barking up the wrong tree.

Ladies' underwear:
See above.

Kilt:
He's Scottish, no duh.

Kilt (before World War II, when wearing anything underneath was prohibited)
: He's totes commando under that kilt. And also is a ghost. Run!

Yes, I admittedly have a preference for boxers. But what do you ladies like best? Also: Would you consider buying them for him as a subtle nudge in the right direction?


More from Glamour:

10 Things He's Thinking When You're Naked
18 Midlength Hairstyles to Consider
5 Quick Fixes for Anything That Jiggles
What Your Hair Says About You (According to Guys)