Having the Ultimate Orgasm is Easier Than You Think

fireworksfireworksWomen's magazines have been trying to convince us forever that our orgasms are simply not up to par. They're not intense enough, they should last longer, oh and, by the way, did we know that there's a different kind of orgasm we should be having? The fabled G-spot orgasm! Or A-spot orgasm! (I swear, Cosmo has probably attempted to invent NEW female anatomy in order to sell us on their climax coverlines!)

Well, now there's a new series of scientific essays that lay out evidence concerning vaginal and clitoral orgasms being "separate phenomena," activating different areas of the brain. Apparently, there's a BIG debate about this. Because, again, that orgasm you're already having? Not good enough!!

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Here's the thing ... Vaginal orgasms definitely exist. They're not like the mythical unicorn of orgasms that some people would have you believe. Those same people who roll their eyes and say, "G-spot? What G-spot? I've tried for years to find it, and since I can't, obviously it's a cockamamie lie."

Famous sex researcher Dr. Beverly Whipple says that some in the medical community consistently deny the existence of the G-spot, because "if they can't see it under a microscope, they think it doesn't exist." But she personally believes the women who tell her they've experienced it.

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Dr. Lissa Rankin is one of those women. She shares in her book, What's Up Down There? Questions You'd Only Ask Your Gynecologist If She Was Your Best Friend, that she had that elusive "intercourse orgasm" once -- 11 years ago -- and it's evaded her ever since. But you know what? She's perfectly fine with that. As far as I'm concerned, her admission sums up this whole so-called "debate." Yes, scientists! The vaginal orgasm can happen, and it may feel awesome, but not necessarily any more awesome or less awesome as any other kind of orgasm. It's certainly not the only or the best kind of orgasm you can have. And anyone who perpetuates that myth probably has a questionable motive -- like wanting to convince us all that heterosexual sex is superior (rrrrright).

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The truth is -- any kind of sex that works for you (as long as it is consensual, of course) is the right kind of sex. Any kind of orgasm you have is the right kind of orgasm. To worry about it any further than that would be totally neurotic splitting hairs. And that's anything but a turn-on!

Have you ever felt pressured to have the "perfect orgasm"?

Written by Maressa Brown on CafeMom's blog, The Stir.

More from The Stir:

The Female Orgasm IS Biologically Important

25 Ways to Have an Orgasm

Shocking Benefits to Having an Orgasm

Why Women (Sometimes) Fake It