Here's What's Causing Your Bad Relationships

Here's What's Causing Your Bad Relationships
Here's What's Causing Your Bad Relationships

Is being alone or single something you fear? Does the thought of never finding that one person to commit to and have them commit to you cause some serious anxiety issues? You are not alone. This fear is more common than it seems. And this fear may be the biggest reason you have bad relationships.

An article on YourTango not only addresses the fear of being alone or single, but also the fear of being in a great relationship. The article states the following:

"Your unconscious mind is always moving you away from whatever you fear and trying to keep you in your comfort zone, so if you are alone you aren't afraid of being alone. You may fear the opposite -- finding true love."

Remaining in your comfort zone may lead you to choose a relationship even if you think it isn't the best relationship or the right person. You'll find the greatest relationship when you step outside of your comfort zone.

Over time this cycle can repeat; you'll continually find yourself in bad relationships, and you get even more comfortable with each one. Imagine how this behavior can increase your fear of being alone or single, but in a weird way keep you in (bad) relationships. What an ugly cycle!

So, what can you do? The first thing you can do is to recognize if this is a problem for you. Once you know this you can consciously take different actions that won't lead you to those bad relationships you seem to keep finding yourself in.

Here are three ways to recognize fear is driving your relationship choices:

1. You are seldom single

When your relationship status doesn't stay on single very long, then fear is probably driving you. When ending a relationship, instead of jumping right back into a new one, take some time to be alone. Take some time for yourself, some time to get to know you. If this is difficult for you, it is a major warning sign.

2. You choose to date people that aren't your type

When you start to settle, you can bet that fear of being single is driving you, and not in a healthy way. If you don't like guys/gals who are tall, or short, or thin, or heavy, or guys/gals who have a sense of humor, or guys/gals who have a religious preference you don't agree with, then don't date them. If you do, the fear of being single is guiding you.

Related: 10 men all women date before finding "the one"

3. You stay, even though you are miserable or are being mistreated

When being with the person makes you sick or they treat you badly and leave you with a feeling of low self-worth, but you stay, fear is the problem. If you are unable to end the relationship it could be that the pain of being single is still greater to you than the pain of the bad relationship. This is not a good sign.

I encourage you to think about what you want, more than what you don't want. Think about how a great relationship will change your life versus how being single will be the worst thing ever. This will change your conscious and subconscious actions in a major way and will start you down the path of finding and having a great relationship.

-Photo Credit: Flickr.com/petermackie

-By: Jackie Bledsoe, Jr.

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