He's a Stud, She's a Slut and 49 Other Double Standards Every Woman Should Know
If you're a regular reader, then you'll know that we're huge fans of Feministing (even if we do wish that the site's name didn't always make us think of fisting). So how could we not love founder Jessica Valenti's new book, He's a Stud, She's a Slut? Sure, some of the double standards she includes might seem a little tired (like "He's a Bachelor, She's a Spinster"), but that's kind of the whole point, isn't it? It only seems tired because we're sick and tired of the fact that it's still freakin' true. Other double standards include "He's p---- Whipped, She's a 'Good Girlfriend,'" "He's an Activist, She's a Pain in the Ass," "He's a Celeb, She's a Mess," and a bunch of other stuff guaranteed to get you all riled up. In honor of Lindsay Lohan's blossoming relationship with Samantha Ronson, we thought we'd excerpt from "He's Gay, She's a Fantasy," after the jump...
"Ask a straight guy about lesbians, and you're likely to get some smart-ass comment about porn, girl-on-girl action, or how they don't mind them so long as they can "join in." Charming. Ask about gay men, however, and it seems the only appropriate response is disgust. When it comes to being queer, gay men are gross and lesbians are hot (so long as they look like cheerleaders and ----- men too, of course).
While this double standard is undoubtedly bad for gay men, it's just as (if not more) insulting to gay women. The assumption behind the hypocrisy is that lesbians aren't "really" gay and they don't have "real" sex. The idea being, of course, that if a dick isn't involved, it's just not real sex. ... Lesbians aren't a threat to their all-precious manhood so long as men can keep pretending that all gay women are like the gals in porn movies. (You know, where butch women just don't exist.) ...
At the end of the day, this double standard is completely tied up with men's fear of being femininized! Whether it's through appropriating lesbianism as a straight man's dream or bashing on gay men, straight guys get to reaffirm how masculine they are."
FromHe's a Stud, She's a Slut and 49 Other Double Standards Every Woman Should Knowby Jessica Valenti
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