What Holly Golightly Can Teach Us About Love
By Patia Braithwaite for BounceBack.com
Before Sex and the City's Carrie Bradshaw had her infamous love affair with New York City, there was Holly Golightly, the fabulously-dressed, lovable, (yet horribly misguided) single girl in Breakfast at Tiffany's. Played by the beautiful Audrey Hepburn, viewers watched Golightly make tragic mistakes in an effort to find balance between being free and being taken care of. While some people love Breakfast at Tiffany's and others despise it, there is no doubt that Ms. Holly Golightly can teach us a thing or two about dating and love.
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"The field stinks, both economically and socially." - Holly Golightly
Anyone who has spent time dating knows that it can get overwhelming. After a string of bad dates, one may feel that the entire ordeal is a waste of time. The outfit, the hair, the awkward conversations, it can all be quite a drain emotions and wallets. When we feel this way, we should take a break from the scene for a while. It also helps to eliminate the pressure involved in dating - every date is an opportunity to meet a new person and share yourself with someone new.
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"You mustn't give your heart to a wild thing." - Holly Golightly
While Ms. Golightly's comment is a way to avoid commitment, there is some truth behind this statement. When we love and honor ourselves we seek partners who honor and respect us. Wild things can be fun, but, more often than not, they don't like to sit still for too long. We invest too much, and end up alone, lost and wanting more.
"Do not accept drinks from disapproving gentlemen." - Holly Golightly
This one is easy, and it goes for both sexes. Do not spend your time or affections on someone who doesn't understand or accept you for exactly who you are.
Related: Why Is "Hard to Get" So Hard? Why We Love and Hate the Dating Chase
"I don't want to put you in a cage; I want to love you." - Paul Varjak
Sometimes love feels constraining. It seems to come with expectations, conditions, and trappings that inhibit growth, but that isn't real love -- that's something else. Real love isn't a cage. If you don't feel free, you aren't being love the way that you deserve.
"...Because no matter where you run, you just end up running into yourself." - Paul Varjak
While we follow Holly Golightly's exploits around Manhattan, we all hope that she will come to her senses and fall madly in love with Paul Varjak, the handsome writer who lives in her building. This romantic dance culminates with Paul finally telling Holly that she can keep running, but he won't be chasing her anymore. He says, "you'll just end up running into yourself." This struck us as an essential truth about many who are looking for love. Often, many of us run around with the idea that love somehow completes us or saves us from ourselves, but it seems the opposite is true, in order to experience true love you must love yourself. Otherwise the emotions we find and feel for another will only be temporary solutions to the issues we are refusing to confront.
Related: Impossible or I'm Possible: What's Your Attitude?
The most important lesson from Breakfast at Tiffany's is this: life, love and happiness, are less about the Tiffany box and more about the prize in the Cracker Jack box. We may run chasing an idea about love or a picture of safety and security, but at the core, life's greatest rewards come from simple pleasures.
BounceBack.com helps people find happiness after heartbreak. Like us on Facebook
Patia Braithwaite is a relationship writer and memoirist living in New York City. Check her out at http://menmyselfandgod.wordpress.com .
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