Hot Sex After 40: 3 Myths and Tips
By Date Like a Grownup's Bobbi Palmer for GalTime.com
Ladies, are you looking for love and can't wait to hop into bed with your new guy?
Think of it: slowly undressing.... eyes locked.... savoring each other's bodies... lust so intense that you both might explode.... does the thought of this turn you on or strike fear in your heart?
As women we get better with age-- but sometimes insecurities about the aging process can creep in. Here are three myths about sex over 40 and tips to make your sex life more fun, less scary and hot, hot, HOT!
3 Myths and Tips for HOT Sex Over 40
1. There is not a room dark enough!
No matter how thin, in shape or fit you were in your 20s and 30s, let's face it, gravity and life have taken their toll. Afraid he's going to be turned off by that hand full of cellulite he sees when he grabs your butt, the stretch marks on your less than perky ta-tas or that extra roll around your middle? Take it from an oh-so-wise (super skinny) ex-boyfriend who once said to me:
"When you're naked with a man, all he sees is that he has a naked woman in front of him, and all he thinks of is that he's about to have sex. He's sexually excited and he's going to get some... he couldn't care less about your thighs."
Men see you and quite simply... get turned on. Victory! I have confirmed this over and over, btw, with many other over 40 men.
And remember that men over 40 are dealing with their own paunches, love handles and sagging body parts (if you know what I mean). And you still want them, right?
TIP: If you are OK with your body (or at least act like you are OK) he will be too.
Related: Is Weight Gain Killing Your Sex Life?
2. Lights, camera, action (NOT)....
I coach many women who have performance anxiety. First let's talk lubrication. It's embarrassing when you need to reach for your lubricant just when things are supposed to be heating up. But here's the truth: men think lubricant is fun!
And, yes, maybe you are a bit behind in your yoga classes and can't quite contort into some of the positions of your early days. So what. At this point in your life you have enough in your sexual repertoire to more than make up for the bendiness of your youth.
And believe me, HE is much more worried about performing than you are. Men tend to focus on results and women on experience. Who better than a mature woman to handle his performance problems with sensitivity?
Which brings me to patience, compassion and humor. Those are the greatest aphrodisiacs of all. If you can bring these qualities to your sex life it will be hot, hot, hot! Even if there are a few "glitches" along the way.
TIP: Have plenty of lubrication and an accepting attitude.
Related: 3 Mistakes Women Make in the Bedroom
3. Wham, bam... hold on ma'am...
Let's face it. If you're working on attracting a fabulous man into your life, you better be ready for sex. But unlike when you dated at 25, the older man is willing to wait under one condition: he wants to know you are not a cold fish.
You can let him know you are a passionate person who likes sex without hopping into bed with him right away. He just needs to know that you are attracted to him and to sex. Men don't mind working for you. They are hard-wired to hunt and stay focused on what they want. But they need to know that once they've proven themselves they can catch their prey. Which, in this case, is hot SEX with a fabulous woman.
TIP: Let him know you look forward to having sex with him as soon as he wins you over.
Your lumps, bumps and wrinkles mean absolutely nothing to 99% of men over 40. What you lack in firmness you more than make up in humor, compassion and experience. You know your body better than you ever did in your 20s. You know what turns you on and how to express your passion. You will have fun learning how to turn each other on, both in bed and out. And that, girlfriend, is HOT!
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