How to Tell Your Friend She's Dating a Loser

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New York Fashion Week Coverage 2010

You get a phone call from one of your closest friends gushing about her new boyfriend. She has just been swept off her feet and is dying for the two of you to meet one another. The day finally arrives when you are to meet this mystery man, but instead of finding yourself face to face with Prince Charming, you discover that your best friend is dating a complete jerk.

We've all been there -- or at least we know Lauren Conrad has. If there is anything we can learn from watching all those Hills reruns, it's that when your best friend is dating a zero, you need to take action. As her best friend, it is your duty to prevent her from becoming another Heidi Montag of the world. While there is nothing you can do to make your friend break up with her Spencer Pratt-type boyfriend, you can let her know how you feel. Here are some tips for the Lauren Conrads of the world to prevent their Heidi from turning into a Speidi:

1. Break it to her gently- Your friend may not even realize how pathetic her boyfriend really is -- after all, love is blind. You need to sit her down, be honest, and tell her why you don't like her boyfriend -- just make sure to be tactful so that she doesn't immediately get defensive. Reassure her that you have her best interests in mind and want what's truly best for her.

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2. Bring up the future- Does she always talk about marriage and children while he has "eternal bachelor" tattooed on his forehead? Ask her where she sees the relationship going. Make her really think it through -- you never know, she may come to the realization that she's wasting her time.


3. Utilize strength in numbers- You may have told your friend that you can't stand her significant other, but does she think that you're the only one? If you share mutual friends who have mutual feelings about her boyfriend, then have them speak up too. The message may resonate with her more clearly if she hears it from multiple people.

4. Don't go behind her back- Bad mouthing her boyfriend or confronting him in private is no way to get your friend single again. Acting out without her knowledge will only drive her away from you and closer to him.

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5. Timing is everything- There is a time and place for everything, and waiting for the preacher to say "speak now, or forever hold your peace" is not the best idea. While it may be hard to find the right time, the sooner you do, the better. The fresher the relationship is, the easier it will be for your friend to be objective about it and make smart choices.

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