I often have drinks or smoke pot before sex. Is this a problem?
Q: My partner and I have great sex, but we often have drinks or smoke pot beforehand. Is this a problem?
A: If you need to drink or smoke pot to want or enjoy sex, then yes, you may have a problem. Alcohol and marijuana can be habit-forming, and I'm betting that if you're using them to increase your sexual pleasure, there are other reasons (and other times) you use them, too. Perhaps you two are trying to avoid a tense discussion or the inevitable complexities of relationships. Consider what would happen if you didn't smoke or drink beforehand-would sex still be good? Would you feel anxious, inhibited or less connected?
Mull over your answers, then talk with your partner (outside the bedroom). Say something like, "I love our sex life, but I wonder if we've been using booze and pot as a crutch. Do you think we can have a good time without them?" If you really have a healthy sexual relationship, then you'll be able to enjoy each other in many ways, not only when you've indulged.
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