If You Want Commitment, Stay AWAY From the George Clooney Types
Of course George Clooney and Elisabetta Canalis have split. Here's why dating guys like George only leads to a broken heart.
-Melissa Chapman, BettyConfidential.com
When I was 22, I had this habit of dating George Clooney-esque guys who--while they wined and dined me and never flat out stated our relationship wouldn't last longer than a Will Arnett sitcom-- would cast me under their irresistible spells.
Just what is the definition of a George Clooney type of guy, you ask? A guy who can both literally and figuratively, "Charm the pants off of you," thanks to his intense masculinity, power, and of course, his all-around affability. It is almost impossible to avoid getting sucked in by his magnetic aura, even though he never gives you a firm commitment.
But, when you're in his presence for those precious few hours (or, if you're lucky and he grants you a night in his apartment-- only to be told he has to golf with his buddies for the rest of the weekend. And, since he can't even give you a sliver of his drawer to store a pair of your underwear, you'll inevitably do the walk of shame back to your abode just as he's readying to tee off), you go against your better judgment and accept this arrangement.
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You simply allow yourself to live in this suspended reality -- that this guy is going to finally come to the realization that you are his one true love. Sure, you've been dating, but he's never "officially" called you his girlfriend, his cleaning lady has a key to his apartment but you don't, and you're not 100 percent sure he isn't getting some on the side. When your girlfriends, the deli counter guy and your mail carrier all tell you this man will never commit to you, you listen, you vent, and then he calls you and all bets are off. You are like putty in his hands, and your firm rules and need for some kind of commitment go out the window.
So, why do we women keep going back? Why do we serial date these George Clooney, Peter Pan types who make it very clear to everyone that no matter how much we starve ourselves, fawn over them, and essentially put absolutely no pressure on them to be anything other than their enigmatic selves, we will never be their one and only? I think it's precisely because, when we're with a George Clooney type, we get to live in this fantastic bubble of unreality too.
Dating someone who you only catch a glimpse of on their best behavior just several hours a week when the chemistry is intense, the lighting just right, the liquor flowing and money no object -- well, it's like a date straight out of The Bachelorette. As in, completely fabricated and not grounded in reality.
These George Clooney guys will never be the ones who stand in line at CVS and buy you maxi pads, they'll never cook you chicken soup and feed it to you when you feel like your head may explode, and they'll never sit in a car with your mother and take her to her doctor's appointment.
Ultimately ladies, your George Clooney will either decide he's done with you, or you will meet another man who will actually give you keys to his apartment. Whichever comes first, but don't think a George Clooney will change.
Elisabetta Canalis, once you lick your wounds, you'll realize it's not that you weren't gorgeous, smart, sophisticated and essentially everything a man could wish for in the perfect woman. It's that men like George Clooney will never commit to you or anyone else. Now, go find that guy who will ravish you... with the key to his place and a permanent spot in his heart!
Melissa Chapman blogs about her marriage and everything in between at www.marriedmysugardaddy.com. Her work has appeared in The Staten Island Advance, Care.com, ABC News, BlogHer, Baby Center, Momtourage, Lifetime Moms, Babble, The Washington Post, Time Out NY Kids and iVillage.
Read all of her Betty columns here.
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