The Importance of Holding the Door: A Modern Woman's Guide to Chivalry
Posted by Madeleine Harrington for BounceBack.com
A long time ago, the concept of royalty became desirable for nearly every woman in search of a significant other. Sure, it was in a much less figurative sense, but let's face it, we've all been guilty of it at one point or other in our short, love-stricken lives. While we've never necessarily pined for long bulky gowns and tight tiaras, we want to be swept off of our feet, for the restaurant bill to be paid for, and to walk through the door without having to lift a finger. We want to be taken care of, to be worshipped, and all around adored like a, well, princess.
What we want is old fashioned, bare knuckles, noble steed and sword in hand chivalry. And is there anything wrong with that? After all, aside from ruling a nation, there is so reason we would deserve any lesser treatment. I can confidently say that chivalry is indeed very much alive, just as long as we're willing to put on the armor and do a little door holding ourselves.
Related: 7 Chivalrous Acts Men Should Still Do For Women
A friend once told me that she wanted a boyfriend so she could be "taken care of." I think this sentiment is very common in single women, the yearning to be coddled, the belief that a boyfriend will be the solution to their problems. This belief is completely selfish and will never nail you a successful relationship, because whether they will admit it or not (my bet is typically on the latter), men want (and should want!) the same things that we do.
They are as deserving and as desiring of a little TLC and a little royal treatment as women are. A relationship is not the solution to our problems: but really a set of new, creatively different problems. A significant other will take care of you, but they might also hurt you, and will certainly test your sanity in unfathomably exasperating ways.
Related: Why Men Hate 'The Notebook'
Because the act of loving someone consists of more than just the good stuff, we can want to be taken care of so long as we want to take care of the other person just as often and just as much. Because to be perfectly honest, aside from the door holding, there is nothing further from the clichéd image of royal treatment than a relationship: relationships are messy, confusing, explosive and downright, 100 percent unpredictable. And for that reason alone, I would choose the latter 1,000 times over.
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Madeleine Harrington is a graduate of SUNY Purchase, with a degree in creative writing, and believes that good story-telling starts with writing about something that you feel uncomfortable talking about.
