Did you know it's breakup season?

Relationships The Shine


Did you know “breakup season" starts now? Facebook data shows profile updates to “single” start climbing around this time each year, peaking a couple weeks before Christmas. Is a breakup on your agenda?  If so, try to show some kindness. Relationship expert and author of “He’s Just Not Your Type (And That’s A Good Thing)” Andrea Syrtash breaks down the dos and don’ts of breaking up.

We hit the streets to find out what people think is the #1 worst way to break up with someone. The overwhelming majority said via text. One viewer even said having your ex do the dirty work!

Other breakup don’ts?

Breakup Don’t #1: Disappearing! According to Andrea, the worst way to break up is by not having even the courtesy to have a conversation. Leaving the person you’re dating high and dry is the biggest no no. Have respect for that person and man up.

Breakup Don’t #2: Hiding behind technology. Don’t rely on technology to do your dirty work. Have the courage and respect to end the relationship in person.  

Breakup Don’t #3: Breaking up at a REALLY bad time! There’s never a good time to break someone’s heart, but there are better times. Do not break up before a big presentation or a job interview – your emotions are in high gear after a breakup, so pick a time where things in your life (and his/hers) are relatively calm and smooth.

Breakup Don’t #4: Don’t broadcast your breakup. Do not change your Facebook status to “single” or “it’s complicated” without having the conversation first. You don’t want your Facebook friends to have the news before your girlfriend or boyfriend does.

Breakup Don’t #5: Don’t hookup with your ex. Andrea says she’s all for recycling, but not with your ex. Move on! Hook up with someone new. If you hookup with your ex, you’re making it harder not only on your ex who’s going to cling to any hope that you’re going to get back together, but you’re making it harder on yourself because you’ll have to break up all over again.

[Related: Biggest Fears of The Newly Single]

Moving on to appropriate breakup behavior.

Breakup Do #1: Choose the right location. It might get emotional and heated so don’t choose to do it while the person is driving, or, at their favorite restaurant – they may never want to go back! Go for neutral ground.

Breakup Don’t #2: Be clear! Don’t be wishy-washy. Don’t say something like “I don’t know if this is working” because that leaves room for negotiation and discussion. Be decisive in the language you use to breakup.

Breakup Don’t #3: Get out well before the holidays! Don’t wait until the day before Thanksgiving dinner with the whole family.

[Related: Breaking Up Without Breaking Down]

More on The Shine: Check out a recent episode about how to take some stress out of cleaning.