It's Complicated Advice Q&A: My Husband Flirts with Other Women


I've been married for 14 years to a good man. Recently our son joined a sports team and we've become friends with some of the parents - we go to dinner, play cards, etc. The problem is, one of the husbands never attends because socializing is not his thing. When we all get together, my husband always sits with this man's wife and even tickles her, walks her to her car, and asks her to call to let him know she made it home safe. I've confronted my husband about this, and he says I'm just starting trouble. Is he trying to make me jealous? What's going on here? Please help! -M.H., 34, Cincinnati

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What's going on here is anyone's guess. Yes, your husband could be trying to make you jealous - or he could have a crush on this woman. Either way, the fact remains that the situation is making you seriously unhappy. And don't for one second think that you're the one "starting trouble." If your guy's so concerned about trouble, he ought to refrain from tickling (tickling!) the goalie's mom!

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Confronting your husband will only put him on the defensive. Instead, simply tell him that his actions bother you and ask him to stop. Say that it makes you uncomfortable to watch him lavish so much attention on another woman. He may tell you you're making a big deal out of nothing, but don't let the conversation devolve into an argument about whether you trust him, or whether you're over-reacting. It really doesn't matter why you don't like what he's doing. You're his wife, his beloved, and you're asking him to stop.

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I always say I'm not going to be one of those women who say guys are dense, but, um, sometimes guys are dense. Spell it out plain and simple and give your husband a chance to make you happy by minding his manners and keeping his tickle fingers to himself.



Karen Karbo is an award-winning writer and author of The Gospel According to Coco Chanel: Life Lessons from the World's Most Elegant Woman. She's also a mom, a writing teacher, and a horse owner. Check out more advice from Karen.

Need smart advice?
Whatever's bugging or perplexing you - about your friends, brother, sister, parents, in-laws, husband, you name it - REDBOOK's Karen Karbo has the smart advice you need. Email your questions, rants, and worries to her at karenkarbo@redbookmag.com and please include your initials, age, city and state. Letters may be edited for clarity and length.

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