Jesse James's Marriage Problem is Worse Than We Thought


Photo by Facebook/West Coast Choppers. Is this really happily-ever-after?On Sunday, reality star and infamous cheater Jesse James tied the knot to drag racer Alexis Dijoria, his girlfriend of a mere seven months, marking his fourth marriage. Uh, congrats?

As we all know, it's not the first time James has been a blushing groom. From 1991 to 2002, he was married to his first wife Karla with whom he had a daughter and a son. The same year he got divorced, he wed stripper/porn star/producer Janine Lindemulder and had a daughter with her. The union lasted just two years before they split (and Lindemulder claimed James cheated on her just weeks into their marriage). Just one year later, James married actress Sandra Bullock. After reportedly cheating on her with at least seven women, Bullock divorced him in June 2010. Cut to two months later, James landed in another relationship—this time with tattoo artist Kat Von D with whom he had an on-again, off-again engagement to in 2011. Two months after the breakup, Von D posted on her Facebook page that James had cheated on her with "19 different women."  We hadn't heard much about James' love life until he began dating Dijoria, the daughter of John Paul Dijoria, the billionaire co-founder of the Paul Mitchell haircare product line and Patron Sprits Company, in September 2012.

Is it possible that James had substantial relationships with all these women? Maybe—they probably thought so—but a more likely theory is that James is addicted to the security of being in a relationship.

A big clue? He proposes in the beginning of a relationship when two people aren't thinking clearly due to a chemical reaction that floods their bodies with oxytocin (a feel-good chemical), a euphoric neurotransmitter called dopamine, and increased levels of sex hormones, all which cause people to view their partners through rose-colored glasses (Does he have a temper? That just means he's passionate. Is he messy? He's just creative!) These hormones tend to stabilize after about a year or so and both people are able to view the relationship in a more realistic light. But pop the question before the hormones wear off and you may realize that your partner's not The One and cope with your rash decision by cheating, much like James has done.

Another reason why James may marry so often is because as a whole, divorced dudes are considered a catch; they just don't carry the stigma of divorce in the same way that women do. Divorced women are often viewed as "used goods" (baggage alert!) but a divorced man? He's simply broken in, experienced, and a doting dad, having already proved he's capable of commitment. And science substantiates that: According to a Census report called "Marital Events of Americans: 2009" men tend to remarry at higher rates than women. It's no wonder Sandra Bullock is still single after nearly three years apart from James, but he's bounced back with multiple women.

What's more, according to research published in the "Journal of Health and Social Behavior", after a breakup men tend to experience greater emotional distress than women. The reason: Unlike women who typically surround themselves with best friends to get through hard times, guys usually don't share that same type of closeness with their male friends. So when a man is accustomed to solely leaning on a girlfriend or wife for emotional support, after a breakup he may try to recreate that closeness quickly with another woman.

And finally, it's possible that James is so hellbent on creating the perfect relationship to escape his sordid past that he tries to create happily-ever-after with everyone he dates. Problem is, he's still the same guy with the same impulses, so his relationship patterns are destined to repeat themselves. 

For Dijoria's sake, we hope that this marriage lasts (or not, depending on whether James stays faithful). We'll just have to wait and see.