How to Do Your Kegels
Not only do defined pelvic muscles improve your sex life, they can also increase vaginal lubrication, make labor easier ("ease" being a relative concept there), prevent urinary incontinence (especially after giving birth), and help protect against prolapse of the uterus (a nasty condition, either inherited or caused by a series of tough childbirths, where the uterus pretty much just falls down into the vagina). The exercises can also help restore vaginal muscle tone after childbirth, for a tighter fit during sex. And a good strong pelvic floor can help make your G-spot more sensitive, thanks to increased blood flow in the pelvic arena. In addition to making orgasms easier to achieve (even multiple ones), regular kegels can improve any sexual activity where control (and, more importantly, the ability to relinquish control) is a factor -- for example, female ejaculation.
Targeting the Muscle Group
Next time you're on a tinkle break, stop the flow of pee for a few seconds. (Or, if you've got a good imagination, pretend you're holding it right now.) Feel those internal muscles you're contracting? Good - those are your pelvic muscles. Ladies who need some extra assistance in isolating the muscles can clench their vagina around one or two inserted fingers. Just make sure that you're not tensing your butt or abs at the same time. Once you know where those muscles live, don't be literally stopping the flow of pee anymore - all that holding back just isn't good for you.
Your Work-Out Program
If you've never kegled before, start slow. First, make sure your bladder is empty. Then, squeeze the pelvic muscles, hold for two or three seconds, and release. Do it again, four or five more times. Repeat three times daily. (If it ever starts to hurt, back off and build up more slowly, as you would with any work-out.) When that starts to feel like a cinch, up your reps and the count you hold for: Increase both gradually until you can hold the squeeze for about ten seconds, ten to twenty times in a row. Do that three times daily and you're more than half way to paradise. If you want to get fancy (and who doesn't?) combine those long, loving squeezes with short, rapid-fire kegel bursts - three or four quickie clenches at the end of each long one. And just like in yoga class, work on keeping your breathing in sync with your squeezing: Try inhaling as you contract, holding your breath while you hold the muscles, and exhaling as you relax. Or inhale one deep breath while you punch out the quickies.
Another exercise that will help with the relinquishing control thing is to "bear down," kind of like moms-to-be do when giving birth. It's like you're trying to force out the finger of your drunk lover who passed out in the middle of diddling you. If you bear down like this for ten reps, three times a day, then you deserve a golden dildo award for dedication to the field - and multiple orgasms every day for the rest of your sex life. Maintain this exercise schedule for six weeks, and you should start to notice the difference in the bedroom (even if it's just you and your left hand in that bedroom).
Mad Props
To spice up your routine, treat yourself to some workout equipment. The most popular (and probably least intimidating) of kegel aids are vaginal balls designed with pelvic health in mind, like Lelo's internationally best-selling Luna Beads or Fun Factory's Smartballs. When shopping, look for hygienic materials (including the removal cord!) and, if possible, weight adjustability, so you can up it as you become stronger.
There are also vaginal barbells. Usually made of stainless steel, they're essentially dildo-like toys that give you something to grip onto during all that squeezing. The best-selling of them all is "The Kegelcisor." There's also a contraption called the GyneFlex - a plastic device that looks a little like a nutcracker for your cooch (and doesn't look nearly as fun or as comfortable as the other toys mentioned above).
Of course, relying on a prop makes it slightly more awkward to break out the kegels next time you get stuck in line at the supermarket, so mix it up. Remember, there's no such thing as too many kegels.
When to Flex
Try hugging his penis next time he's in there (if you do it repeatedly it's called "milking," and most guys love it). Or squeeze the pelvic muscles next time you're rubbing one out. Or focus on relaxing them when your partner's going for the G. Or try to the extend the involuntary contractions of an orgasm by voluntarily contracting the muscles yourself.
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