by Gena Kaufman
Getty ImagesThere's a reason there isn't a famous song called "Breaking Up Isn't Actually That Bad If You're Just Mature About It," and that's because, for most of us, breakups are generally a messy, painful thing.
But in the world of celeb PR, breakups are another story. They're always "amicable" and "mutual" and "respectful" (or at least that's what we're told until we get the E True Hollywood Story years later.) For instance, take Kelly Osbourne's comments after the recent announcement that she and Matthew Mosshart had ended their engagement.
"It was a mutual decision. We love each other very much. It just wasn't the right time for us, and I think if we weren't as mature and adult [as] we are, then we could have gone down a road that wasn't really nice. We're still really, really good friends; it's just we're not living in the same house. There's no dramatic story. I wish there was so I had something to tell people but no...it just happens in life."
See more: 10 Trends to Try in 2014Don't get me wrong, I very much approve of having a respectful, calm reaction to a breakup rather than a petty, dramatic revenge scheme. Good for these two. And I'm sure that even an amicable breakup is still a sad time to get through, so here's hoping they both get some time and space to heal.
But this sounds not even a little similar to any breakup I've been through or watched anyone I know go through. I mean, I've seen breakups that were fairly calm. I've seen people remain casual friends with their exes. But I've never seen any breakup where both people were totally, equally OK with it at the time. If celebs really are having these super-calm, respectful, no-hurt-feelings breakups, well, I guess that is just another thing they have over me, so add it to the list of bouncy hair, dewy skin, and Spanx that don't leave a telltale bump line around your pudgy parts through your clothes. Sigh.
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If you've figured out how to have one of these celebrity-approved, mature breakups, please share the secret so I know how to do it next time I need to part ways with someone (and please, don't point out the fact that I need to find someone to date before I can find someone to break up with.)
Truly Amicable Breakups: Real Life Thing or Urban Hollywood Legend? Have you ever been through one? Has anyone you know? Or have you witnessed and I think if we weren't as mature and adult than we are, then we could terrible, awful, no-good breakups?
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