Kim Kardashian and Kanye West Are Legally Married Now
Richard Lawson
Bing bong, ding dong, bing bong, ding dong! Those are wedding bells! It that what wedding bells sound like? Well, maybe not, but whatever. The point is that Kim Kardashian and Kanye West got married this weekend! Well, according to some "reports," anyway. A few of the gossip sheets scattered across the Internet are saying that, as had been rumored they would, West and Kardashian got the legal stuff out of the way this weekend, laying the groundwork for the lavish Paris wedding ceremony set to happen later this year.
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Some say the wedding is happening this month, others this summer, but nobody knows for certain. But it is coming. It is going to happen. At some point, probably soon, there will be a wedding of such scale and magnitude, such decadence and wonderment, that our world will never be the same. It might be the first wedding visible from space.
Or it might not be! I suppose there's a possibility that Kim and Kanye will keep it, if not small, medium-size, maybe. After all, they did this legal-marriage thing pretty quietly, didn't they? Just had a judge or whoever over to the house and said their legal "I do"s and that was that. No muss, no fuss. Maybe they had some friends or family there, maybe they didn't. Maybe they were in their house clothes: sweatpants, ratty old T-shirts someone got at Universal Studios like 15 years ago, furry slippers from Walgreen's, no makeup. Maybe Kim already had her big, fancy, public wedding, y'know? She's done that. Maybe now she wants something quiet, small, intimate, simple, sincere. All the things her last wedding, largely thought to be a sham for television, certainly wasn't.
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I don't really think that's the case, though. I think this legal thing was just a formality, so they treated it as nothing special. But the actual wedding is going to be a grand affair to rival the Queen's jubilee. Streets blocked off, fireworks, policemen, cheering fans, the whole bit. How could they not go all out? An expectant world is waiting for them to throw the wedding of the century. And they're not ones to let us down. Are they?
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