Know who woke up in the doghouse today? David Arquette

Doh! David really shouldn't have phones or computers for a while. (Photo by John M. Heller/Getty Images)Doh! David really shouldn't have phones or computers for a while. (Photo by John M. Heller/Getty …David Arquette posted a series of frantic tweets apologizing for over-sharing about his 11 year marriage to a national audience.

Here's what his brain might have sounded like in the moments after he awoke: Five more minutes, coffee, Courteney will make some. Courteney? No that's right she's gone, but maybe she'll come back? Oh wait, I slept with that other girl. OH WAIT. I went on Howard Stern. (Gasp, sits up in bed ) I think I sad having sex with that new girl made me feel manly. Oh crap. Oh jeez, Please tell me the part where I talk about how long it's been since Courteney and I had sex was just a dream. Oh god, oh god. oh god. Maybe no one heard the radio show? Stupid! Stupid!

Let's all take a moment and be thankful we're not celebrities. If you're in the middle of a painful breakup, clouded by rage and jealousy, you have far too much access to live national broadcasts. David Arquette learned that the hard way yesterday when he opened up to Howard Stern about his breakup. Maybe he expected to just quickly set aside any cheating allegations (which nobody was too consumed with) but before long he was bragging about new conquests and griping about his sexless marriage. If you've been through a breakup, you know this interview was not for the tabloids; it was for one person, and one person alone. You hear that Courteney? He's moving on! But also please come back.

Not the best laid plan. Hours after the interview, David took to Twitter to publicly eat crow: "I went on Howard Stern yesterday to provide clarity and honesty about what I'm experiencing," he tweets. "But while doing that I shared too much. … It's alright for me to be honest about my own feelings but in retrospect some of the information I provided involved others and for that I am sorry and humbled. ... I'm sure Courteney and myself will emerge from this painful time better people for what we have learned."

This may be where real people and celebrities diverge. We may gripe to friends, un-tag a Facebook photo or leave a cryptic update on Twitter that no one actually reads. But a live interview and...with Howard Stern? How about start with Leonard Lopate? Even Dr. Drew. Hell, Ryan Seacrest. But not the guy who's going to follow your segment with a trans-gender little person putting lipstick on with her cleavage.

Now Stern is defending Arquette saying, "He was protecting his wife and kid by telling the truth." Uh, Howard? (Finger across neck motion.) You're not making it any better.