What We Can Learn from TV Relationships
By Randi Newton for BounceBack.com
We can certainly learn a lot about relationships from some of our favorite TV shows - past and present. They can be helpful guidelines for us to know what to look for in a future significant partner, and also on what we should avoid.
Positive Primetime Relationships:
Elyse and Steven Keaton, Family Ties:
This classic TV couple are the chillest, most laid back duo that's madly in love. Having worked together in the Peace Corps, and had other adventures that's truly tested their relationship in times of stress (remember when they were in London and accused of being spies because of some film they had in a secret compartment in a hairbrush? A relationship that can withstand espionage is very important) . Having good disciplinary skills with their kids, and allow them to voice their own opinions when it comes down to politics and other important issues that arise in any family.
Phil and Clair Dunphy, Modern Family:
Phil and Clair have a fun relationship with trust, honesty, great senses of humor. Also, they both thrive together as a couple and as individuals. They also have a close relationship with their extended family, which also says a lot about how well couples work together. Dealing with disciplining their children in a "cool" yet authoritive manner, Phil and Clair have an ideal relationship that many would strive for. Of course they argue from time to time, but they work together with excellent communication skills to get through their problems, which is ultimately a huge key to a successful relationship.
Primetime Problem Relationships:
Don and Betty Draper/Don and Megan Draper, Mad Men:
To love, or not to love? Ultimate bad boy, Don Draper!
Don and Betty's relationship was rocky from the start and ridden with lies about Don's past as Dick Whitman. Filled with infidelity and constant messing around behind Betty's back, all while bankrolling it on his company's dime. Even though they had the picture perfect scenario: house in the suburbs, kids with perfect retro fab names-Billy and Sally. Everything looked perfect to outsiders, but was far from it.
The main thing missing from the relationship was trust and honesty. Without those two things, it's not a relationship, it's all a bad lie. Just because you live behind that white picket fence, no one on the outside can see the paint that's chipping and peeling off. BUT…Has Don Draper turned around, or was he just tired of being single?
Living in a single-room-occupancy after his breakup with Betty, it's clear that Don doesn't like to be alone. He likes having a woman to take care of him. This makes sense that he immediately is drawn to his new, beautiful yet robotic secretary, Megan. She babysits his children on a trip. Out of nowhere, he proposes to her, she said yes (he is her boss, talk about pressure!)
Related: How to Recover From Dating a Narcissist
From what's been eluded this season, Megan knows about his past as Dick, and where he went wrong with his first relationship. Thanks to nepotism, she gets a promotion at the office along with her new title as Mrs. Draper. Yet, Don is her husband AND superior at work. He is constantly "her boss". At home he's throwing her around like a sex doll, and he goes as far to leave her at a Howard Johnson's in the middle of nowhere when she tries to voice her own opinion and be an individual-over her dislike of orange sherbet. Recently Megan has been questioned by her parents if she thinks she's just settling by being married to Don, rather than pursue other aspirations that she may have with her life.
He's still in a Honeymoon phase. Betty has the kids full time, he and Megan reside on the Upper West Side-and as far as he's concerned it's just add dad on the weekends. Don clearly has control issues.
Brad Womack, The Bachelor, season 15: and ALL of the contestants on the show!
Can reality love work? Well not for Brad Womack whom clearly had some issues on his first run on The Bachelor. Of course the producers knew it would make for fascinating television to send Brad to a shrink and bring him back for another round of Brad's lack of emotion and commitment-phobe drama. I was certainly glued to the TV each week!
Related: Can Reality TV Influence Your Relationships?
Reality show love is often forced within a short time frame. On the Bachelor it is 90 days. Love at first sight is completely possible…but is it really possible if a camera crew is following you around during intimate moments? How true is the "true love" if the contestants aren't even allowed to have their cell phones, magazines, or watch TV? They are brainwashed to obsess about the bachelor 24/7.
Related: Is Reality TV Toxic for Your Love Life?
The odds of the Bachelor actually "planning" the romantic dates and destinations and financially being able to fly a harem of women around the world. I don't think so. Then the contract requires the couple to not be seen in public for the duration of the time the show is broadcast…by the time it's aired, the relationship is usually doomed since the woman, Emily Maynard "the winner" of Brad, was able to see Brad seducing and making out with every willing and able female around. Brad wasn't hiding the fact he was "dating" a houseful of women, but unless you're okay with a polyamorus relationships - and most people are not -it's understandable that things with them fizzled as soon as the all expense paid for vacations ended and the cameras stopped rolling. Yes, some relationships from The Bachelor have been successful, but the failures outweigh the success with this TV series.
Remember, what you see on television isn't always the REALITY of the situation. Whether a show is scripted, or a docu-series, fairy tale endings that are 100% perfect, are unrealistic to aim for. It doesn't mean that we can't take away valuable advice, do's and don'ts from what we see on TV.
Randi Newton divides her time between New York and Los Angeles. Keep up with her on Twitter @WorldOfRandi , and her blog, www.wallstreetstripper.com , and her latest project, on Twitter @SeduceUTheBook .
BounceBack.com helps people find happiness in the right relationship. If you've been through a breakup, divorce, or just haven't been able to find happiness in your love life,BounceBack is a place to tell your story, get community support and advice from experts, and find the confidence and strength you need to move forward. Check out our Facebook page.
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