Let's have a little chat about the female "happy ending" massage, shall we?

While men have been enjoying the infamous "happy ending" massage for oh well, ages I guess, ever since the "Sex and the City" episode where Samantha went on a mission to get one, women have been not just a little curious about the um, ins and outs of what the female version just might entail. But whereas the idea is certainly provocative and something to laugh at or fantasize about, would you ever actually attempt to get an off the spa menu add-on? Tango writer Melissa Lafsky did just that when she went on journey to try and experience the elusive urban legend herself. And well, let's just say things got really, really real.

Thing is, the female happy ending can be slightly complicated. Men can get a hard-on, quite the attention getting signal that he's literally up for more if the masseuse is, but Lafsky finds the more subtly aroused woman must work to get noticed, via moaning, writhing and blatant asking for it. And that's just the thing, as she acknowledges: "For many women (myself included) the idea of point blank asking a hot masseur to 'finish me off' sounds about as appealing as a full-body exfoliation with Brillo pads." Seriously.

And of course, while the male orgasm is pretty cut and dry, what works for one gal might not for another. Do you really want to be in the position of having to fake it just so they'll stop and you can make a mad dash home to take care of business yourself? Ugh.

Some of the women she interviewed for the story said it was no big deal--oh sure they get orgasm inducing massages all the time! Don't you!?--but ya just gotta wonder if these ladies are some kind of freakish cyborgs from the planet Audacious roaming in our midst or just plain scary "enlightened" Samantha Jones wannabes. (Not judging, just saying.) After two failed attempts at big finish massage, Lafsky turns to her "sexy and adventurous friend, Joanna," to see if she has better luck. By the end of the story, Joanna strikes gold: "The second I saw Tron, we had instant chemistry,' she said. 'He was definitely hot. I flirted with him all the way from the waiting room to the massage room, and we chatted about our lives. When we got inside, I talked about how I hated having underwear and towels constricting me during massages, and he said, 'I'm comfortable with you having them off.' About 15 minutes into the massage, I let my hand graze his thigh and I could see his erection. Finally, he turned me over, and it was on."

They didn't go all the way--neither one had a condom goshdarnet, but they did spend the entire hour and a half massage time making out. "I considered giving him a blowj-b , but then I was like, 'I'm paying for this!'" says the frisky Joanna.

But that's just it. Do you really want to make out with a spa worker you've hired to relax you or work out that knot in your shoulder? I mean, I'm sure that adding an orgasm on to a perfectly administered massage adds a whole nother element to the entire experience, no doubt, but wouldn't the stress of asking the therapist--who may admonish you or even kick you out for suggesting it since they can easily be fired for such a transgression--outweigh the benefits? Maybe I'm just being a prude here, but I'd rather just get a really great professional massage, and the only add-on I'm interested in is a hot rock or two.

Still, the article is fascinating. Read it in all of its happily ever after glory here at Tango. You know what's coming next (and sorry ladies, it ain't a handj-b): Have you ever gotten a happy ending massage? Do you even want one? We must discuss immediately.