Lets talk about sex...Revenge sex


revenge sex;
revenge sex;

When Oracle President Charles E. Phillips reconciled with his wife, his longtime mistress shelled out a fortune to get her revenge. YaVaughnie Wilkins, dubbed a " vengeance-by-billboard artist" by the website Gawker, reportedly paid around $250,000 to hoist photos of her and Phillips high above the streets of New York City and Atlanta. The billboards also advertised a website which was plastered with 8 years' worth of love notes, postcards, ticket stubs, and tons more photos, including of the mansion YaVaughnie and Charles had allegedly once shared.

"Vengeance is an act of justice," according to the 18th century writer Samuel Johnson. "Revenge is the act of passion." As we know, justice often doesn't come cheap, and given that not everyone has the bucks for a billboard, many spurned lovers turn to a free alternative. And it may or may not involve a little passion.

We're talking revenge sex. It's ugly, but we all know it's out there. A guy gets dumped by his girlfriend, and it's all too easy to turn to her roommate for a little comfort and counseling. After all, what better way to show his ex not only that he's not crushed (even if he is), but that he's still an object of desire. It's immoral, petty, risky, involves an innocent party-all of the above. But it happens, and men and women are almost equal-opportunity offenders. The odds a man has ever had revenge sex are 1 in 10.2. For women the numbers are 1 in 11.45.

It can take many forms, including random, meaningless hook-ups just to make the ex jealous. Some people even go for direct payback, trying to have sex with an ex, pretending to be a changed person, maybe even dangling the phrase get back together. All before revealing in the post-coital moment, "I'm just not feeling it anymore."

Sometimes the revenge target is actually a third party. It's a safe bet that sleeping with a rival's wife is sure to upset him, maybe even knock him off his game. And is there anything more delicious for a middle-aged woman (Meryl Streep in It's Complicated) than to sleep with the man who divorced her years ago, while his nubile young wife (who stole him from her) fumes off camera?

According to psychology professors Cindy M. Meston and David M. Buss, authors of Why Women Have Sex, sexual motivation is more complicated and varied than has been widely understood, and runs the gamut from altruistic to self-serving to downright mean. There's sex for love, sex for conception, sex for entertainment, and, according to Meston and Buss, there's even sex to infect. As horrible as it is to contemplate, they found people who knowingly tried to pass on an STD as a vehicle of revenge.

And then there's the recent case of Therese Ziemann of Wisconsin, who allegedly learned a man she was helping to support was not only married, he had at least two other lovers. In a bizarre revenge plot the women got together, tied the man up in sheets , and glued his penis to his stomach. All have been charged with false imprisonment and Ziemann is also facing 4th degree sexual assault charges.

Hell hath no fury like a woman (or man) scorned. When love ends, things can get messy. Whether it's the motivation or the tool, sex often goes hand in hand with revenge.

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