Living Together is Totally Fine for Your Future Marriage Success, as Long as You Do it After This Age

by Gena Kaufman


George Holz
George Holz


If you're in your mid-twenties and you just started living with a guy, I have good news for you. One, you're better at relationships than I am in my early thirties, and two, you've probably escaped the supposed link between living together before marriage and divorce.

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While previous studies have indicated that couples who move in together before they get married are more likely to eventually divorce, that may not be the case. And clearly, people weren't scared off by that idea anyway, since two thirds of new marriages in America began with cohabitation. And a new study examining data from 1995, 2002, and 2006 has found no link between people's pre-marriage living status and their divorce rate. However, the study did conclude that the age at which couples live together could be an indicator of their future success: After age 23, there's less risk of divorce. Researchers speculate that this post-college period means people are more mature, set in a career path, and likely to pick a more compatible partner.

Also contributing to the advantages and disadvantages of moving in together? Education, finances, and length of dating. Another study found that people with college degrees tend to date for longer periods (over a year), whereas those without move in after less than six months of dating. Financial need may push people to live together before they are ready.


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While clearly a lot of people are still eventually getting married (and we've debated whether living together gives you the same sense of commitment as marriage or not), it's clear that attitudes about living together have changed a lot over the past decades, and it's good to know that something so common no longer seems to have a negative impact on marital success. Can we get rid of that whole "buying the cow/getting the milk for free" phrase now too? OK, great.

Have you ever worried about living together before getting married? Does this make you feel better? Has anyone ever lived with a guy BEFORE she was 23? (That seems super early to me, but my own sister got married before she was 23, and she's doing great!)

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