Tips for telling if you're dating a foot fetishist and how you should handle it.I guess I'm what you'd call a foot fetishist, although this designation is more complex than you probably think. Most foot fetishists are not perverts, sexual deviants, or anything to be afraid of.
From what I've seen, public mentions of the phrase "foot fetish" are generally followed by giggles and a short discussion of some guy on the news who got arrested for hiding under strange women's cars so he could get a brief lick of their feet while they loaded groceries into the trunk. (That's the media for you.) And apparently there really are guys who subscribe to websites like Footsie Babes and attend local "foot parties." But, like any other sexual passion, there are many levels of enthusiasm, and those guys are the extreme.
Most of us foot-lovers enjoy regular sexual practices just as much as any other guy, and we do care about the rest of your body. However, the enthusiasm for you below the ankle is still there, and because of the social implications of having a "foot fetish," many guys don't tell the women in their lives. It's shame, really, since talking about preferences and revealing things we feel embarrassed about can make couples closer.
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While even the infinite depths of Google can't produce a remotely legitimate statistic on the frequency of foot obsession, the general consensus is that it's the first or second most common "fetish." I can say from experience that you're more likely to date a guy who has some interest in your feet than you might think, so here are a few tips for telling if you're dating a foot-fan and how you should handle it. Microphilia & Other Weird Fetishes
Signs Of A Foot Fetishist
Even early in the relationship, before sex is involved, there can be signs of a potential foot lover. Extended examination of a pedicure or questions about what size shoe you wear should be noted as signs of a likely foot fetish. You should also notice where his hands usually land on you when the two of you are lounging around. If he regularly reaches for your feet, you can be all but sure of his status.
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For guys like me, sucking toes and licking feet is somewhere around par with intercourse on the intimacy scale, so if his mouth comes into contact with your feet with any regularity, or if he often grabs for your feet as he's preparing to start (or finish) the act, it's a safe assumption that he has a thing for feet.
In my experience, women's reactions to having their feet fondled are more negative than positive. A few have straight-out told me, well before my hands got below their knees, that they don't like their feet and they don't like having them touched (one even stated it the first time she took her shoes off in front of me).
Others will say things like, "You know, you don't have to do that stuff with my feet," which translates to, "Please don't do that, it really disturbs me." And then there's "Oh, you're one of those guys." There are, however, women who have been happy to allow close examinations of their feet and even took pleasure in just how much they excited me. Unfortunately, there are also those girls who are highly ticklish, and no matter how much they want you to touch them, practicality will inevitably intervene.
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I should warn you that if your boyfriend is truly passionate about your feet and it's not something you would ever allow him to indulge in, chances are the two of you just aren't going to work out. He'll resent you for not accepting this integral part of his sexuality, and you'll grow more and more disturbed by him for having such an enthusiasm in the first place. Your sexual incompatibilities will eventually drive you apart.
Loving The Man
If you are willing to explore his fascination, there are plenty of ways to use it to the advantage of your sex life. The current lady in my life enjoys teasing me with her knowledge of my love for her feet. When she's in the mood, she runs her feet up and down my legs, ensuring that I'm "ready" to satisfy her within moments. If you're looking for a spontaneous session of lovemaking, put your freshly painted toes in his face and ask him if he likes that color of polish.
At this point, you must be thinking "Well… still, he wouldn't want my feet to touch him there." However, he likely would. This isn't something that you take a class to learn or that you have to bring into every routine, but a few minutes of caresses on a special occasion will make him feel loved, understood, and, of course, turned on. Not only will you put him into a blissful physical state, but he will be so appreciative that you showed him that you truly care about his specific tastes, that he will likely jump to do anything you desire. And who knows-perhaps (hopefully) you'll like it, too.
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Although it seems like the obvious thing to do, refrain from constantly asking your guy for foot rubs. For someone who appreciates female feet to such a degree, a full-out foot rub (as opposed to gentle caresses) is actually a turnoff. The practicality of the act de-sexualizes the body part.
If you're still wondering how a man could be so entranced by such a smelly part of you're body… few of us are. If your man is a foot-lover, it's a safe bet that he prefers your feet clean and maintained. One of the nicest things you can do for him is making sure your tootsies are soft and smooth when you show up to meet him. If he sees you going out of your way to ensure his pleasure, he'll certainly go out of his way to ensure yours… sexual or otherwise.
Have you ever been with a foot fetishist? What's your fetish?
Written by Izzy Cihak for YourTango.com.
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