The Man's Guide to Valentine's Day 2012
New Relationship
Morning Greeting: "Happy Valentine's Day!"
Breakfast: In bed. Suggestion: Warm a large plate in the microwave for 15 seconds. Place one of the following (depending on her taste) on the warm plate: chocolate croissant; Boston cream from Dunkin' Donuts; plain bagel, toasted, with melted butter and some good sea salt on top.
4:00 P.M. Text: "Your day is only going to get better."
2012 VALENTINE'S DAY GUIDE: Gift Ideas, Dates, Advice, Stories & More
Dinner Out.
Go See A New Movie: You have two options: The Vow: Channing Tatum must make brain-injury-induced amnesia patient/wife Rachel McAdams fall in love with him again. Or Big Miracle: A reporter (John Krasinski) and a Greenpeace volunteer (Drew Barrymore) save a family of gray whales trapped at the Arctic Circle.
Draw a Bubble Bath: Throw a bottle containing a romantic message into the bath. Exclaim: "Oh, look what the tide brought in!"
Strew Rose Petals: That indicate a route from bathroom to bedroom.
Closing Remarks: "Should we take this to the bedroom?"
GIFTS FOR HER: The Valentine's Day Presents for Every Woman
Long-Term Relationship
Morning Greeting: "Happy Valentine's Day."
Breakfast: At the table. Because breakfast in bed is a misguided notion (crumbs, etc.). So, at a table, like civilized people. See above for suggestions. Also, a single flower in a small vase.
4:00 P.M. Text: "Can you pick up the champagne?"
FOR THE BEDROOM: 10 Ways to Have Better Sex, According to Science
Dinner In.
Watch Suggested Film: City Lights, Charlie Chaplin's touching, funny story about a tramp in love with a blind flower girl.
Free Time: Catch up on e-mails, update Tumblr account, improvise displays of affection, etc.
Closing Remarks: "Let's take this to the bedroom. Or if you're sleepy, we can pick this up on Saturday."
GOING OUT: Dating Rules for the Modern Gentleman
Alone
Morning Greeting: "Hello, Tuesday!"
Breakfast: Divide previous suggestion in half.
Free Time: Catch up on e-mails, update Tumblr account, improvise displays of affection, etc.
Closing Remarks: "Hello, YouTube!"
DATING ADVICE: 10 Better Ways to Show Your Love
Photo credit: Beanstock Images/First
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