More Than Paper

A lovely man recently asked me this question;

"Do you want to get married again?"

I was surprised. During all these years of dating-not one man has asked that. Not one single one. I think many people are turning against this tradition. It actually has been a question that I had been mulling over a few months before and came to a decision on. Yes. I do want to get married again. I don't have to-I want to.

These past years I assumed someday I would live with someone again and just share my life. I didn't really think too much about actually doing the marriage thing. I just figured living together would be okay, would be good enough, would be enough and it didn't really matter. It's just a piece of paper, right? It's not all that important really, is it? And to my utter chagrin, I realize I was wrong in that line of thought.

A few months ago, while watching a wedding show, watching family and friends gathered, hearing heartfelt and genuine vows, and seeing the pure joy radiating forth, I realized that getting married means so much. It is a symbol but more than a symbol. It is a proclamation to the world. It is a declaration of love, hope and faith. It is more than a piece of paper. It is a grander story to tell than the one of living together tells. It is so much bigger than so many of us who have been through awful relationships realize.

There is nothing wrong with living together. There really isn't. It's just not going all the way. It isn't completely committing even if it is committing. It isn't near as powerful as the union of marriage. The story it tells is, "I love you. I'm willing to see what happens. I just don't know how it all will turn out."

And even marrying someone we never know how it will turn out. It's simply a deeper faith in another. It is a bigger hope. It is a risk, but one that obviously means someone is serious about taking it. It is standing before your family and friends and the person you choose and it is telling this story instead, "I love you. I can't imagine my life without you and I am bound to you in my heart, before or families, before our government, and before our God. And even though I don't know what will happen or how it will all turn out, I know this-I want to find out with you. You are who I choose to share my life with. You are who I love most in the world."

I want to tell that story someday again in my life. I want to share that story with someone again in my life. I don't have to-I want to.

It is an act of bravery when two people get married. It is an act of bravery to put your trust in another's hands and live your life with the thought that this person shall hold your heart tightly without destroying it. It is definitely a risk worth taking. We can't live our lives by statistics and the fear of failing. We would be too chicken to do anything if we did. We are better off living it with love...definitely better off with love.

Monika M. Basile