We Are Never (Ever) Getting Back Together
Posted by James Lane for BounceBack.com
Taylor Swift has it right. When it comes to getting back with an ex, it's always better to write a song about it than actually doing it.
Why do we even think about getting back with our exes? Is it because we miss the memories we made? Is it because we were so comfortable with them? Is it because they made us feel special? Or is it because we are just plain lonely?
I'm going to have to agree with the latter.
Bringing our ex back into our life is damaging. Does it work out occasionally? Sure, but I don't like the chances of "occasionally". Just because it worked out on a TV show or with your best friends second cousins' next door neighbor, does not mean that it will work out for you. I was in this same situation a few months ago. I missed my ex and decided to grab coffee together to see if the feelings were still there. Stupid stupid.
Related: Giving Your Ex Another Shot: Good Idea or Bad Mistake?
We were not at the Starbucks for eight minutes when I realized I was making such a big mistake bringing this person back into my life. The entire time I was listening to their 'life after me', and instead of it making me depressed, I was annoyed, irritated, and desperately seeking a way out.
The whole conversation over coffee seemed like a contest as to who is doing better since our relationship ended. Who has the better job. Who has the most friends. Who is making the most money. And who has moved on.
Related: How to Act Around Your Ex
We hugged and said we would keep in touch, but the second I slammed my car door shut I realized that I never (ever) wanted to get back together, let alone see them again.
I admitted to myself that wanting to meet up with my ex was purely an act of loneliness and desperation. I knew it was a bad idea, but my heart overruled my head. Every fight, every disagreement, and every pet peeve I had came rushing back as I drove away, and I felt so happy that the relationship had ended when it did.
Whether it is you thinking about getting back together with your ex, or the other way around, really think it through. Sure, you may still love them (I still love my ex) but it's a different kind of love. A love for what you once had and a love for the person for who they are. But do not confuse those feelings on love for in love.
The moment I knew I was completely over my ex was when I drove out of the parking lot, looking forward and never once looking back. I felt strong and got that closure I was missing. I blasted my music and shouted along with the song: We are never getting back together. Like, ever.
To read more from James, visit his blog Expiration Dating.
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