Never Have the Same Sex Twice: Alison Tyler Dishes on Hot Monogamy
Alison Tyler has edited more than forty-five books of erotica, but perhaps more impressive than that is the fact that she's been married for 15 years and says that her relationship is still "filled with extreme, kinky, varied, crazy, never-have-the-same-sex-twice sort of sex." For both feats, we reckon she deserves some sort of medal. Her latest book is Never Have the Same Sex Twice: A Guide for Couples, which features advice, stories from her own life, plus some of her favorite erotica from over the years...
After 45 books of erotica, what made you decide to write a how-to book?
In a way, all of my collections are how-to's, sexy jumping-off points for readers who might want to "try this at home." If you flipped open G is for Games, you could be inspired to try your own version of sexy Twister, featured in Madelynne Ellis's "No Limits." (At least, you could be if you were me.) Or if you paged through Love at First Sting, you might just consider buying a handful of colored ribbons and tying up your partner, like in Sommer Marsden's "She Looked Good in Ribbons." Writing an actual guide was a natural next step.
Check out these 101 Ways to Have the Best Sex of Your Life!
You've been married for 15 happy, monogamous years. How was the sex changed over the years?
We got together in an incredibly steamy, succulent situation, and the sex has only gotten hotter. Right after we met, Sam left for six months of rescue work in the former Soviet Union. (When he said he was going to Georgia, I honestly thought, well, that's not too far away. I can visit. I didn't know he meant Georgia, the Republic of Georgia.) So we spent months emailing each other these ultra-decadent fantasies, and ultimately calling and spending $12 a minute to talk on a satellite phone. Pretty expensive phone sex.
I think the fact that we know each other so well now, and that we trust each other implicitly, is what makes the sex exciting. That and the bottle of Wesson oil by the bedside. ...
You talk a lot about being creative in bed--about not falling into tried and true habits. How can someone get over the laziness factor when they're just in the mood for comfort sex? (Or just in the mood for watching TV?!)
Climbing out of any rut takes an effort. However, unlike eating more fiber or tying on those worn-out Pumas, engaging in a night of excellent sex provides a much greater level of immediate enjoyment, running endorphins or no.
Find out what he's thinking when you're naked!
And for you personally, does it ever feel like homework--meaning, do you ever get home and just think, the last thing I want to do after thinking about sex all day is to work at my sex life right now?
Sex never gets old to me. What can I say? I have a high libido. Of course, the concept of doing my homework, sitting there in my red-and-black plaid school girl skirt, watching him lift that wooden ruler...wait, what was the question?
You must get asked this all the time, but we can't resist: What is the secret to having a great sex life after 15 years of marriage?
You don't need toys. You don't need tools. You don't need to be able to tuck your legs behind your ears, although, you know, that helps. The only thing required to having a frisky, risqué sex life is the willingness to be creative. To ask for what you want. To share your fantasies. To listen to your partner. I swear, the craziest sex we've had has been at the most unexpected times. Like when the fire alarm was blaring because dinner was burning, but we just couldn't stop. Or when we decided to play old records, and I got out "Ode to Billy Joe"...you'll have to read about that time in Never Have the Same Sex Twice.
Read the rest of our illuminating interview with Alison Tyler here!
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