Not Tonight: 10 Crazy Excuses Women Use to Get Out of Sex
So maybe you and your partner have engaged in coital hotness every night for the last 8 years and you have 7 kids that haven't slowed down your collective libidos. Well, this post isn't for you sex kittens. And might I add, wowza.
For the rest of you women, moms or not, who dream of steamy sexy sleep every chance you get, I'm on your tired team. And yes Dr. Ruth, I know sex is important to maintaining intimacy in a relationship blah, blah, blah.
I've got other needs that involve quiet, wine, reality TV, laughter, gossip magazines, and pretty things. It's not that women like me don't enjoy sex, because that's not it at all. We love us some chocolate cake, but we're not about to bake ourselves one at the end of a long day. You dig? I polled the female masses (that's what he said) and collected the most popular excuses we use to get out of sex.
1. Can it wait until after Real Housewives?
Whoa, major blow to the male ego! But we can't possibly focus on anything until we know if Vicki and Tamra are on the outs. Priorities, people.
Related: The worst things you can say to your husband...and probably do
2. Don't you just want to talk?
Sometimes it is just nice to talk. If we haven't seen you in what feels like an eternity, don't make our first encounter a grabby grabfest. Let's make it a gabfest instead!
3. I haven't taken a shower.
Dirty girl = No dirty girl in the bedroom.
4. I just took a shower.
I was too dirty so I took a shower, and now I'm so clean. Let's not ruin it with sex.
5. I'm so tired.
What do you get when you take a woman who works really hard, worries really hard, and takes it all really personally? One tired mother.
Related: 7 things I wish I knew about men before I got married
6. I have a headache.
My husband swears a dose of good lovin' can cure a headache. So can 400mg of ibuprofen.
7. I'm so fat right now.
We know guys don't care if we're fat right now but we care. We really, really care.
8. I haven't shaved.
Just think of our legs as a cactus. The spikes are there for a reason.
9. I'm too cold.
Might body heat solve this problem? Probably, but still.
Related: 8 hilarious photos of how to undress in front of your husband (circa 1937)
10. Let's just snuggle.
Is there anything better than cozying up to your partner and falling asleep? Spooning need not always lead to forking.
- By Lori Garcia
For 10 more crazy excuses women use to get out of sex, visit Babble!
MORE ON BABBLE
Marital Arts: How to be a ninja in the bedroom
10 ways to have a relationship that doesn't suck
5 things ALL women want to hear
9 ways to rekindle your romance
13 tips for snagging a man (circa 1938)
