One in a Million

Metro crowd.jpgI don't want to date me.

I want to date someone who is different than me. Someone who might open new worlds up or at least make the conversation a bit more exciting than talking to myself. I want to date someone who has similar core values but is not all the same things I am. I don't want to be in competition with my potential mate.

Of course, it is important that dating couples share some common hobbies and interest. It is important to have things to discuss and talk about and activities to share together. It's a good idea to maybe like some of the same music or be able to enjoy a movie together-to like certain things our mate likes. However, we do not have to be clones to share a life together and enjoy our time together.

By the urging of my dear Aunt, whom I have written about before, I joined a dating site she suggested. "Monika, you need to try something new because what you are doing is just not working for you." So I did as she suggested and figured I would give it a whirl. I filled out the profile and answered all kinds of questions, I submitted picture after picture that they kept rejecting for a variety of reasons I could not comprehend and wound up with one where I look tired and bewildered. (hmmm...maybe that in fact is the most accurate photo of me) and I took their test-their test that was supposed to match me up with my ultimate match.

I decided to be utterly honest and mark the little boxes with the truth-even if the truth wasn't always so pretty and if my opinion was not always so acceptable to others. I kept thinking that if I want this to truly work I need to be real about it and not fudge things to make me look better or worse-I needed to just be me. I anxiously awaited the results, well not anxiously but with curiosity. The results were most surprising.

No Matches. No matches pending. Ta da!

I stared at the screen stunned. I actually was near tears. How can this be? There are over eight thousand men in my surrounding area on this site and I am not a good match for any of them. How is that possible? No matter how much I do not want to date my clone, how can there not be a lone soul somewhere similar to me in the least? There isn't, at least according to computer gadgetry. This is not even a new discovery.

One day, while fooling around with my profile on another site, I hit the little box that said, ""View your profile as others see it." And I did. Then I hit the little box saying, "See other profiles like this one." Hmmm, I thought, I wonder who they compare me with? No one. That's who they compared me with. That's who is similar.

"Monikablahblahblah is one in a million. There are no other profiles like hers." I almost wonder if that was a kind way to say I am bizarre.

I am sure some of you are thinking GIVE UP ALREADY, but I'm not and I won't. I may not find one of the ones who will be my potential life sharer on a dating site. I may not find him in the grocery store or at the library or at work or in a multitude of places people meet. But I will find him. I might even be surprised and he will find me. I am sure there is some interesting man in the world looking for me-the woman who was labeled "One in a Million".

Monika M. Basile