One-night stands make cliches of us all
In not exactly shocking news, a recent survey found that women have more regrets than men when it comes to one-night stands. And the even less shocking explanation behind these results? Despite all our good advice to the contrary, most women continue to go into one-night stands hoping they will lead to a relationship (and men continue to let them think this might be the case). According to the survey, 80 percent of men and only 54 percent of women feel good after a one-night stand. The men tended to report feelings of sexual satisfaction, well-being, and improved self-confidence, while the women were more likely to feel used, ashamed, or as if they had let themselves down. Jeez, what is this, the 1950s?!
People, if we could all be a little more honest with each other, there'd be a lot more cheer in the world of casual sex. And this goes for you, too, ladies: how many times have you lied to yourself or a guy and said you're not expecting the sex to lead to anything? Another positive outcome: there would be fewer cases of women going to jail after seeking revenge via cattle branding on dudes who don't call after a one-night stand. Which is why we've always been fans of what we call the prenook: this is the casual sex equivalent of a prenup that verbally outlines both parties' expectations of the encounter.
As we explain it in our book Rec Sex:
"There is no one-size-fits-all pronouncement that secures a prenook--after all, 'Let's have a one-night stand' or 'Is it okay if I never call you again?' will kill the mood for most people (though either of these lines might work if spoken with the right dose of humor). A prenook is kind of like porn: You know it when you see it. In certain sexed-up circumstances (say, spring break in Cancun, or a swingers' convention in Tampa), the prenook goes without saying. At times like these, the implicit promise is that you will get laid, and you will get laid tonight. Therefore, a spring break prenook operates in reverse: a) You must fess up before getting to the bedroom if you suffer from erectile dysfunction, and b) you must provide a heads-up if all you're in for is a kiss and a cuddle (though it goes without saying that anyone can change their minds as to how far they are willing to go at any point--we're talking to you, date rapers). The reverse prenook allows the recipient to look for their jollies elsewhere, should they so desire."
Oh, whatever. You're not even listening, are you? You're too busy sitting by your phone waiting for that playa to call you back. But in case you're still there, the same applies to booty calls: If you think your booty call partner is just hanging in there in the hope of converting you into a boyfriend or girlfriend, you've got to retire that booty call number immediately. You hear us, John Mayer? Despite what she might tell you in bed, Jennifer Aniston totally wants a boyfriend.
Check out Glamour's 101 ways to have the best sex of your life!
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