Opposites Attract: But Should They?
By Elliot Yoo for BounceBack.com
When coming across the unlikeliest of couples, it usually doesn't take long for that popular saying to flash across our minds: "Opposites attract". It seems hard to argue with this sentiment; how else would you explain certain people whom either you or others you know have dated? While this saying seems pretty infallible, what is a much more contentious topic is whether dating somebody the "opposite" of you is what's really best for you.
The answer seems to depend on what you're looking for in the relationship. When asked about what you're looking for, your answers will ultimately reveal whether dating someone the "opposite" of you is really a good idea. Let's explore some of the pros and cons of dating somebody who seems to be your opposite:
Benefits:
1) Expanding Horizons
Dating someone the opposite of you means experiencing a wider spectrum of what's out there. Being with someone who is fundamentally different than you means gaining a wider experience and knowledge of what things you like and dislike in a person. They can challenge your ideas and beliefs and force you to look deeper into yourself. Whether that means adopting some of their points of view, or more fervently holding onto your own, the outcome is greater experience and that's never a bad thing.
2) Sexual Tension
Let's face it, not understanding somebody is often labeled as "sexy" and "mysterious". While this isn't exactly conducive to a long term relationship, in a short term relationship it can be extremely exciting. The aura of the unknown between two opposites can lead to a charged atmosphere of sexual tension leading to a fiery relationship. However, this is a double-edged sword, as the very thing that makes this relationship alluring is more often than not what eventually breaks it.
Disadvantages:
1) Tension Overload
While opposites mean sexual tension, it can also mean a daily dose of headaches from your significant other. If the tension comes with frequent arguments and ceaseless battles, this is probably not the healthiest type of relationship to be in. Think Stella and Stanley in A Streetcar Named Desire: incredible sexual tension, but a disastrous relationship at the same time.
2) Expanding Horizons…Again
Dating somebody who is not the complete "opposite" of you doesn't necessarily mean you guys are two peas in a pod. Ultimately, you should be striving to meet somebody who complements your characteristics, and that means being different enough that they can challenge you to grow, but also somebody who holds similar sensibilities. In other words, you both should place value and importance on the same things. This is what really matters in a relationship and what really makes or breaks them in the long term.
What stage you are in life should largely factor into what type of person you should be considering dating. If you're still exploring the dating world, and trying to figure out what you like, both in yourself and others, dating somebody the opposite of you is probably not the worst idea. However, if you are looking to settle down, then finding somebody who holds similar sensibilities as yourself might be one of the smartest things you'll ever do.
What do you think: Do opposites attract? And can they last? Should they? Have you ever dated someone the opposite of you? Did it work out?
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