The Penis: Size, Shape, or Technique... What Matters?

by QuickieChick Laurel House.

Similar to women, penises have their own personalities- regardless of size and shape. Sure there are stereotypes and assumptions, but I know some seriously big-boobed, perfect bodied blonde chicks who aren't more fun and couldn't care less about sex, and some majorly mousy brunettes who have a wild streak like you've never seen!

No, I don't believe that blondes are more fun just because they are blonde, especially in bed. (BTW, I am a blonde, and I have been a brunette). In fact, I have heard more stories from men about blondes, or pretty girls in general, who are the worst lays they have ever had because they just lie there like a dead fish, putting all of their eggs into their good looks to get the guy off, totally uninterested in technique, inner clenching at the right times, or even faking a few sounds for effect. They literally just lay there "looking pretty." Ugh. And no fun for either of you.

So back to penises… same goes. Big, fat, long, straight, curved, thin… any one of them can be good in bed if the proper technique is applied.

WATCH: How to Have Better Sex- Quickie Workout in Bed

Let's compare the good and the bad of some:

THE BURRITO:
I was once with a guy who presented his package like a "ta-da!" He pulled this gigantic burrito-sized slab of meat out of his jeans and I immediately was afraid. I mean, that thing could have ripped me in half. All I could think was "this was a mistake. I have to get out of here." He was a great guy, I actually really liked him, but this… this burrito had no business being inside me. I suddenly remembered that I forgot to feed my dog and I jumped off the bed, hurriedly threw my clothes on, and flew out the door, all the while he lay there stunned, his burrito situated on his stomach looking up at him.
The Good: It fills you up completely, creating major pressure and stimulation in all areas.
The Bad: The guy may be overly proud of his big guy, making it so that he can be too aggressive with it and forgetting that, like taffy, vaginas need some time to warm up and stretch out in order to avoid tearing. It can be so big that it simply hurts.

Want More? READ: When It Comes To Men, Does Size Really Matter?

THE BANANA:
Like a banana on its back, a Banana penis is curved slightly upward (think of a pointer finger giving someone the "come hither" signal).
The Good: Because it is curved up it has the opportunity to constantly rub against the upper wall in the vagina… which also happens to be where the G-spot is said to be. That constant rubbing can make for very good sex, even if the guy has poor technique and is pretty much clueless as to what he's doing.
The Bad: Many guys with this type of curve can initially be insecure about their turned up shape, even apologizing for its misshapen form. Banana'd men: no need to apologize. Looks don't always matter. You've got natural skill and you didn't even know it!

Want to Attract A Banana?READ: 4 Simple Ways To Be A Man Magnet

THE HOOK:
Similar but opposite of the Banana, the Hook is a penis that is hooked with a curve that points down like a flamingo's beak.
The Good: Doggy style is awesome with a hook because it's perfectly hitting your G-spot. There are also several fun and exciting positions that feel extra good, like backward bull-riding (girl on top, facing his feet)
The Bad: In traditional missionary position, since the pecker is pointing down, it isn't going to rub you the right way when it comes to your g-spot. No matter how he thrusts, at what angle or speed, he naturally bows away.

READ: How To Manage Your Man

THE POCKET ROCKET:
He may be small, but don't underestimate him. Remember: many powerful, successful, and sexy men are diminutive (Tom Cruise, Mel Gibson, Napoleon Bonaparte and Benito Mussolini).
The Good: These guys know that they have big competition out there, and they often have taken that challenge to task by perfecting their techniques- including honing their skill at head (which they tend to be AWESOME at… and BTW, good head can produce an orgasm more mind-blowing than intercourse… I mean, make you feel like you're going to pass out- mind blowing). Men with little guys can be as good at moving their man as any battery-powered pocket rocket. Because falling out can often occur, missionary and doggy style are generally the best bet positions, which can make for even more intimate sex including lots of kissing and full body contact. Since every penis has the same amount of nerve endings, regardless of size, little guys tend to be more sensitive- with a greater concentration in a smaller area (similar to chicks and nipple sizes). Another benefit of a Pocket Rocket- they are much more pleasant to give oral sex to. Your mouth won't be nearly as sore after, which allows you to do it longer and more often.
The Bad: The little guy can also fall out of you if conditions get too slick or positions too peculiar. When this happens, don't freak out or be embarrassed, just slip him back in. Some chicks do like the sensation of being completely filled up- which you simply won't get with a Pocket Rocket.

WATCH: 4 Ways to Make Sex More Orgasmic

Because they each have their own personalities, don't forget that vaginas do too. We aren't all shaped the same. Our sensations slightly differ. Some love fast, others deep, many slow, even shallow, and of course there is a combination of the styles each utilized at the right moment based on our level of sensitivity thanks to a complex combination of time of the month, closeness to orgasm, and of course mood- which is always relative.

Now, with all of that in mind, really can you say that it's just the size and shape of a penis that matters when it comes to the effectiveness of bringing you to orgasm?

xx
Laurel

Laurel House is a lifestyle author, expert, writer, personal trainer and the "QuickieChick." Her "quickies" are all about making the most out of every moment- whether it's a saddlebag-burning "Quickie Workout in Bed," a metabolism-boosting "Bites with Benefits" meal, or how to get a $150 spa-quality skin peel out of a $1 tomato and lemon at-home Refrigerator Facial. Her YouTube videos have received over 6 million views and now you can get even more Quickie Tips in her new book "QuickieChick's Cheat Sheet to Life, Love, Food, Fitness, Fashion and Finance on a Less than Fabulous Budget" (St. Martin's, May 2012).