Piggy Should Dump Kermit. There I Said It

"Gulp". It's not a good sign when a guy makes that noise when you ask for a kiss. Even if that guy is a frog.

When they hosted their Kardashian-grade wedding on Broadway complete with musical numbers, it seemed like Piggy finally got her man.. But let's be honest, Kermit has never been that enthusiastic about the relationship. He barely made it to the altar. Remember how he conveniently got "amnesia" when he felt like things were getting too serious with Piggy? While he's shown glimpses of romantic tendencies, Kermit's still a tadpole. Ever since their first flirtations, he's acted as if he's been bullied into the relationship. He practically trembles when she utters his name. To put it bluntly, Kermit just isn't that into Piggy.

Granted Piggy can come on a little strong sometimes (Frank Oz once described her as a "Truck driver trying to be a woman") but some would describe that as part of her charm. It takes a strong man to love her and unfortunately, Kermie isn't that man.

Sometimes I think he married her because of convenience. They've got all the same friends, she definitely 'gets' him more than a lot of the other muppets and as they've climbed the celebrity ranks, they've become branded as a couple. The people want Kemit and Piggy together. But as a fellow truck driver woman at heart, I think Piggy could do a lot better. Doesn't she deserve someone who will invest as much into the relationship as she does? Someone who will take her out to nice dinners, who will fawn over her successes instead of acting like she's embarrassing, someone will treat her like the amazing motorcycle-and-high-heel wearing lady pig she is?

Granted, it's slim pickings in the Muppet community. Gonzo is a pervert. Fozzie is sweet, but he's Kermie's best friend. Scooter has Skeeter. Animal is always on the road with the band. And Ralph? Well, he isn't into pigs.

But Piggy is woman enough to look beyond the felt community. Remember Charles Grodin? He played the thieving human obsessed with Piggy in "The Great Muppet Caper". Despite having a weak moral character, he treated her far better than Kermit. They went to the Dubonnet Supper Club, he came to her fashion show, he practically drooled when he was in her presence. If anything, Grodin proved that Piggy was a special Muppet who deserved more than just an occasional "you're okay too, Piggy."

Maybe Piggy should give this guy another shot.
Maybe Piggy should give this guy another shot.


Like a lot of strong women maybe she never gave herself enough credit, or maybe she liked the challenge Kermit presented. Or maybe it's like they say, you don't choose who you love, it chooses you.

I just hope Kermit knows how lucky he is.

Related:
Kermit on being green
The Muppets take Shine
Q&A with Janice the Muppet