Pornography

I'm interested to know what everyone thinks about this.

My ex-partner never ever told me I looked nice, not even when I lost a bunch of weight after having my son and when other men would notice me. One day while cleaning, I found a bunch of pornography hidden. At the beginning of the relationship, we had mutually agreed to get rid of it (I had some too) as we both agreed it constituted cheating.

I got really upset basically because i felt lied to and asked him to get rid of it and told him how it made me feel like I wasn't good enough for him, that he never ever told me I was pretty etc. so could he imagine how it made me feel?

He got angry at me then and promised me that he would get rid of it. On 3 or 4 more occasions, I found more pornography, hidden in the car and other places. He would tell me that he was given it and that he was going to pass it on to a friend or his brother. Each time I relayed to him that it hurt my feelings really badly and each time, he promised to get rid of it.

I started chatting online and took some sexy pictures of myself. Whether there was intent in this, I can't say for sure, I guess I just wanted some attention. The pics were risque but there was no nudity in the photos and they were all quite artistic really. Anyway, he found this pictures on the computer and got extremely mad at me calling me a w---- etc. He argued that it was completely different but logic told me otherwise.

My question is, is there a difference between a man checking out pictures of naked random women and his girlfriend showing her photos to complete strangers for fun?

If I was cheating, wasn't he also? And why is there a double standard. If it is deemed normal for guys to browse porn in secret and feel they have to lie about it because they know it will upset their spouse, then doesn't it give me the right to flaunt myself for attention in the absence of my guy's appreciation?

This wasn't just a simple case of an eye for an eye, keep in mind that I held on to the relationship for 8 years before I actually did this. And, in the end, I ended up meeting my fiance online which is sort of poetic justice. I no longer chat to people let alone post any photos of myself as I feel it is not right and I know that it would upset him :)