Powering Up My Soul
Someone stole my purse out of my car yesterday. I had every single credit card I own in there. I had also left the door open. All that was missing was a sign over my trunk that said, "STEAL MY IDENTIY PLEASE!"
I suppose I should be really irked. After all, spending a day the DMV for a new license is not exactly my idea of an enlightening afternoon. But I'm pretty "Ehhh, whatever" about it. In fact, the only moment of outrage I had was when my credit card company called to tell me that the thieves first stop was Walmart where they spent $350.
Really? The first chance these low lifes have to spend someone else's dough they high tail it to the Big Blue House of Cheap? I'm not saying I haven't shopped there myself on occasion, but with extra money to burn, I'd hit Burke Williams for a nice massage. I'd swing by Nordstroms and purchase a few summer dresses. I'd get a cash advance to hire a website builder to give my writing a home like this inspiring pioneer.
Last night, as I chatted with Rex on the couch, my heart spilled out like a dam that couldn't contain its waters of feeling a moment longer. It simply burst in one giant flood. I'm shocked Rex didn't drown.
I told him about my purse stealing incident.
I spoke about wanting to be a more effective parent to two highly energetic, and vastly different children, citing the book How to Talk So Kids Will Listen. (From what I've read so far, it's a super balance between limits and freedom in which Mama won't lose her last remaining brain cells and Daddy doesn't have to wonder why she has about as much to desire to have sex as she feels like listening to One. More. Whine DEAR GOD THE WHINING.)
I told him about another book I found by chance (well, nothing's really by chance) in a donated box outside the library: The Seat of the Soul, by Gary Zukav. This book describes how we're moving from five sensory beings into multi-sensory ones and how our soul evolves over time. (It's a bit on the "new agey" side for me, but fascinating none the less. I see how he landed on Oprah and the New York Time's best selling list 31 times.)
What all these examples have in common is one thing and one thing only: Power. People who feel the need to take things that aren't theirs, both on a physical and emotional level, fill their voids with a false sense of power. Kids who don't feel listened to feel depleted of power. Parents who don't set strong limits lose power. When we don't nurture our inner beings, our souls... our life force... lose power.
So often my relationships are affected by power. Who has it? Who wants it? When is it time to take a stand? When is it time to let go?
I don't have all the answers. But as I sat on the couch and just vented about my day, my husband, though tired, listened to me. He nodded in understanding. He occasionally touched my shoulder. He "heard" me. Regardless of all my credit cards being stolen, I felt rich. I felt validated. And yup, that felt pretty powerful.
How about you? Where do you find your power?
* Photo of Rex in the kitchen. It was taken right before a power outage. No problems. We had plenty of fun in the dark that evening.
Posted by Andrea Frazer
Reprinted with Permission of Hearst Communications, Inc.
