"No Strings Attached" Relationships -- What You Should Know Before Jumping in Bed With a Friend

genConnect.com

What do you think of the modern sexual phenomenon, Friends with Benefits (FWB)? Have you experienced it? Do you want to?

A growing number of men and women are engaging in this type of relationship. In fact, in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy (July 2010) one survey of college womenshowed that the majority of their "hook-ups" were with friends or acquaintances. In this study, at the end of the first semester in college, 56% of women reported having engaged in a hook-up that resulted in oral sex at least once in their lifetime, while 42% said the same about intercourse.

The Friends With Benefits trend has also caught Hollywood's attention with movies set to hit theaters this year addressing this kind of fling. On January 21st, we have "No Strings Attached," where Emma (Natalie Portman) has a strictly physical relationship with her best guy friend Adam (Ashton Kutcher). Six months later, another movie comes out with two pals rolling around under the covers -- this one actually dubbed "Friends With Benefits."

Since FWB is the hottest topic in the bedroom and big screen these days, think about some of the pros and cons of jumping in bed with your friend.

Advantages of Friends With Benefits:

  1. Honesty: Couples attempt to be honest about the limits of their liaison. To avoid getting hurt, set ground rules, such as no post-coital cuddling or each partner can date other people.

  2. Expectations: Both parties attempt to hold realistic expectations for the future of their relationship.

  3. Experience: Some men and women feel they benefit from having access to more sexual partners. The Practice-Makes-Perfect ideology.

Disadvantages of Friends With Benefits:

  1. Selling Yourself Short: FWB involves sex, not making love. Therefore, men and women do not learn the true creative and artistic act that intercourse can become when shared between loving partners.

  2. Heart-Body Disconnect: FWB requires people to disconnect their hearts from sex. This actually counters Mother Nature's agenda of using intercourse as one medium for falling in love.

  3. Curtailed Condom Use: Some women are actually less likely to demand condom use when they are not involved in a romantic relationship. In addition, hook-ups often involved alcohol use, which also makes people more impulsive and less apt to use condoms.


Those are some pros and cons of FWB. We'd like to know what you think of FWB. Give us your thoughts about this important and timely trend.

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For more on the subject, watch the genConnect "No Strings Attached" Event. genConnect experts Dr. Marianne Brandon and Dr. Alan Altman tackle casual hook ups and whether we were born to be monogamous. For more details, contactevents@genConnect.com.

Sign Up Here and be sent an email reminder and link to catch the video, follow-up live chat and free prizes. Festivities kick off January 10th.
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About the author:

Dr. Marianne Brandon is a clinical psychologist and Diplomat in sex therapy through AASECT. Dr. Brandon is Director of Wellminds Wellbodies LLC in Annapolis, Maryland. She is author of Monogamy: The Untold Story and co-author with Dr. Andrew Goldstein of Reclaiming Desire: 4 Keys to Finding Your Lost Libido.




More articles from Dr. Brandon:
4 Lessons I've Learned as a Sex Therapist

Making Monogamy Easier

How Our Culture Hurts Your Sex Life

Vote: Which is Better: Friends With Benefits or Couplehood?


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Photo Courtesy of Paramount Pictures