The Real Way to Have it All

Get the equality in your relationship you deserve.Get the equality in your relationship you deserve.You're both busy at work, so why do you get stuck with all the at-home stuff? Sharon Meers and Joanna Strober, authors of Getting to 50/50, tell you how to get your guy to do his share. These simple tips will get him to be a true partner--so you can stop feeling like a nag.

By Cosmopolitan

Ask for what you need and be specific. You think you and your guy should both clean up around the house, but he can't read your mind. So ask him--nicely, not in a critical way--and listen to his response. Saying "I want you to do more around the house" won't get you as far as saying "Let's agree on what needs to get done around the house and divvy up the list." He may even have ideas for getting the job done better and/or faster (really).

Be direct (not directive). Consider the household to-do list as something to tackle together. If one of you needs to be home when the electrician comes to fix the ceiling fan, invite him to the appointment on his Outlook calendar; this way, it's clearly a shared responsibility. As the appointment gets closer, discuss which one of you is more able to duck out of work for an hour.

Build up credits, then cash them in. Most days aren't really 50/50--they're a ratio based on which person's schedule is more packed. But just like you build credits with your boss, you and your guy can each build credits with each other that you can cash in on days that are crazy-busy. So if you've done more than your share on a certain day, you've earned yourself some time to go out with friends at a future date, while he spends time with the kids or wraps up a household issue.

Make time for each other. Work takes up most of your day (and if you have kids, that means even less time for the two of you). But stealing away for an hour lunch, a Saturday-night date, or even a 20-minute walk, can let you reconnect and remind yourself that yes, he still is that great guy you fell in love with.

Related: 6 Times He Wants You to Take Control

One Woman's Story

50/50 princes are made, not born. With a kiss and lots of questions, here's how a cute frog became Sharon Meers' happily ever after.

On our very first date, my now-husband stunned me with this question: "You're a VP at Goldman Sachs. How are you going to do that when you have kids? I think moms should stay home--at least for the first few years."

Growing up with an absent dad and a working mom, Steve had longed for more attention. I'd grown up with role models who were attentive to their kids and had great jobs, so not working had never entered my mind. But something told me we could find some common ground, so I peppered Steve with questions--and he volleyed back--as we tried to see each other's point of view. Tell me about couples you admire. What do they do well?

How much time did you get with your dad? What will you do when you're a father? Do you think your wife will also want a rewarding career?

After just two months of dating and debating, Steve said, "I'm not sure how it will work if you become a Goldman Sachs partner, but I get that women need career success and that kids need their dads as much as their moms. Whatever happens, I'm willing to give it a try, because I love you." Eighteen months later, I married my prince.

FIND MORE GREAT TIPS and get a copy of the book at Gettingto5050.com.

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