The Secret to Great Sex

Photo: Courtesy of Thinkstock
Photo: Courtesy of Thinkstock

Anna Dimond,Glamour magazine

Want a better, hotter, more connected time in bed tonight? Read these gems-proof that when it comes to sex advice, size does matter… and shorter is better!

"Have fun!

You like it rough? Tell him! You get off quick and dirty? Jump on it! Keep the lights on, with a mirror, and flaunt your scrumptious, fabulous body, love handles and all." -Noire, author of urban-erotica novel Natural Born Liar: The Misadventures of Mink LaRue

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"Try coital alignment,
one of the best ways to ensure orgasm during intercourse. Lie on your back with your feet planted, knees bent. Your partner's on top with his head and shoulders past yours-so your head is even with his chest-grinding against you to stimulate your clitoris." -Debby Herbenick, Ph.D., author of Sex Made Easy

"Have a little ginseng tea and chocolate in the afternoon. Ginseng has been used for millennia for its aphrodisiac qualities, and dark chocolate works on the brain to release love chemicals. So have a few bites if you know you're getting busy tonight!" -Mehmet Oz, M.D., host of The Dr. Oz Show

"Cuddle first.
Snuggling for a little while before sex can make a big difference in how you feel during it. You'll often see it on porn sets, which are the least sexy places ever and where you have to find ways to feel sexy during long shoots." -Linda Roberts, former adult-film actress

"Don't keep secrets.
Yes, you can be mysterious-wear suggestive lingerie and surprise him with a new toy. But be willing to get emotionally naked. Let yourselves penetrate each other's fantasies, fears, and deep matters of the heart." -Kamala Devi, author of Don't Drink the Punch: An Adventure in Tantra and coauthor of Sacred Sexual Healing

"Break the mold.
Most people get into a routine, whether it's a position or time of day. Try having sex somewhere risqué, like in a car or your laundry room. Varying where you have it makes a big difference-for both of you. A little bit of adventure can make sex hotter." -Ian K. Smith, M.D., author of The Truth About Men

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"Never hold your breath mid-orgasm.
Do deep-body breathing while reaching climax: Inhale through your nose, fill up your belly, and exhale through your mouth, slowly, until you're empty. You'll have a stronger orgasm." -Kristen Tribby, director of strategy for sex-toy boutique The Pleasure Chest

"Adjust the energy in your bedroom.
No work stuff allowed! And remove family photos (do you want them to watch you have sex?). Don't store anything under the bed; clear out the clutter so energy can circulate." -Dana Claudat, feng shui consultant and founder of The Tao of Dana blog

"Know how to handle his testicles.
They're one unit; never separate them. Make a ring around the top of the sac with thumb and forefinger; squeeze gently. During oral action, don't forget to lick the baby-soft spot on the bottom of the sac; he'll love it!" -Dan Anderson, coauthor of Sex Tips for Straight Women From a Gay Man

"Take the initiative with a little erotic striptease.
He will love watching you strut your stuff with confidence, and it will let him see your assets up close. Don't worry if you feel a little nervous-have fun with it, and don't be afraid to laugh and enjoy yourself." -Laura Berman, Ph.D., host of In the Bedroom With Dr. Laura Berman on OWN

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"Watch each other masturbate.
It builds anticipation, and you learn all the small movements that you normally wouldn't see." -Nora Skyy, adult-film actress

"Find the right condoms.
The perfect one can feel almost as good as not wearing anything at all. Do a little research: Stock up on five different brands and versions, and try them out just as you would wine." -Davy Rothbart, author of My Heart Is an Idiot, an upcoming memoir about his misadventures in love and sex

"Open your eyes!
The Zohar, the book of Jewish mysticism, says you achieve three-pronged unity during sex: You're kissing, so you're exchanging life breaths; your bodies are intertwined, so you're one flesh; you're peering into each other's eyes, so you're one spirit. It takes practice, but it's rewarding." -Rabbi Shmuley Boteach, author of Kosher Sex

"Stop performing and enjoy yourself.
Sex is all about sensation-not performance, not what's appropriate, not what you think you should like, and never, ever what somebody else thinks you should like. If you can remember that, you're on your way to a great sex life." -Felice Newman, San Francisco-based sex educator and author


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