Settle an Argument: Should This Bride Change Her Last Name?
By Perri O. Blumberg, REDBOOK
Engaged couple, Matt, 28, and Kate, 30, are knee-deep in wedding planning. Between debating color schemes and honeymoon locales, they've hit on one touchy subject: Should Kate take Matt's last name? Kate, an editor, had always planned to keep her last name professionally, but has been excited about legally switching to Matt's name. Matt, to her surprise, doesn't want her to do it at all. Who's right?
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He says: "I honestly thought she'd be happy that I'm not forcing her to do something that I consider a bit archaic. She's had her identity for this long, and I don't want to strip her of it. Plus, it's so complicated to change names legally and balancing two different ones seems like a lot of work. It doesn't matter what our last names are-what matters is that we're married and spending our lives together."
She says: "It's hurtful that Matt seems reluctant for me to take on his last name, and it makes me feel like I'm not 'good enough' for it. I don't know a single guy who is actively trying to get his girlfriend to not take his surname. Sometimes, I think he's just trying to push my buttons. I don't get why he's not excited about the prospect of us forming that kind of union."
Whose side are you on? (Explain your reasoning in the comments section.)
- Matt
- Kate
Have an argument you want settled? Email your argument detailing your side of the argument and your partner's side to karenkarbo@redbookmag.com and please include your names and ages. Letters may be edited for clarity and length.
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