Settle an Argument: Oversharing About Sex Life
By Lauren Le Vine, REDBOOK
Abby, 26, and Ted, 32, have been dating for two years and engaged for one. They met online, and Abby has no problem telling people this. However, Ted likes to share that they slept together the first time they met in person, which Abby doesn't think anyone else needs to know. Who's right?
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She says: "A lot of people meet online these days; I have no problem with anyone asking how Ted and I met knowing that. We messaged each other for months before exchanging phone numbers, and then we would talk for hours like teenagers in high school with a crush on each other. When we finally met in person for the first time, I felt like I'd known Ted for years. We didn't have to go through any of the usual first date stuff-you know, stock questions, nervousness etc.-and we ended up going home together. We've been together ever since and are getting married in October, but when we tell people the story of 'how we met,' I don't think it's necessary to tell everyone that we slept together on what was technically our first date, do you?"
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He says: ""I don't get why Abby thinks this is such an overshare; I've heard her discussing way more sordid-and less ladylike-things with her friends. I think it's cute that we slept together on that date, and it says how well we felt we knew each other even though it was only our first time meeting in person. I usually leave it at 'she spent the night at my place;' it's not like I go into graphic detail about what happened that night. She seems to think people will get the impression she's a wanton harlot. We were basically exclusive already, and as soon as we met, I knew she was the one for me. That night was just the icing on the cake. Is it bad that I want to share that?"
Whose side are you on? (Explain your reasoning in the comments section.)
- Abby
- Ted
Have an argument you want settled? Email your argument detailing your side of the argument and your partner's side to karenkarbo@redbookmag.com and please include your names and ages. Letters may be edited for clarity and length.
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