Sex Confession: I Never Had an Orgasm During Sex
"Sex Confessions" is a series featuring your naughtiest bedroom secrets and fantasies. Some will sound familiar, others may give you ideas, some will turn you on, and some are dark and twisted. You might want to sit down for this.
Today we're hearing it from Jessica* -- a 20-something wife and mom -- who has never had an orgasm during sex. But if you ask any of the guys she has done the deed with they will tell you otherwise. Yes, Jessica admits she's a faker and she insists she is happy that way. She says there's just a lot more involved in what it takes to get her to climax. And she's not interested in working out those finer details with her husband so she prefers you don't clue him in on it either. Let's delve more into Jessica's reasoning, shall we?
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My husband doesn't know I fake my orgasms. There, I said it. I love him. He doesn't need to know that I am not pleasured in that way by him. Because I am -- so much so. Sex is great! I just can't orgasm. Never have been able to. It's not him and I don't want him to think it's something he is doing wrong, so why burden him with it? I've been with other guys in the past and the same thing -- no orgasm. I'm officially the 'I can't have an orgasm from sex' girl and I've made peace with it over the years.
I can orgasm from sex toys. From direct clitoral stimulation, but not during sex. And my husband and I do use toys from time to time, and we fool around and he has brought me to climax that way -- which is so great! But for the other times, I just pretend he gets me off, so he gets off, and everybody is happy. Even me. Sex can be great without me having an orgasm. So I think this little white lie is an okay one. I don't want to hurt his feelings or make him feel inadequate because he isn't. But it's the one and only time I lie.
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Some people may think I'm a terrible wife. But I think in my situation, it's a good thing. I don't need to have an orgasm during sexy time to be satisfied. I can wait until after. And since I've been with my husband for six years, it's not like I can suddenly say 'Oh hi husband who knows me so well! I haven't had a sex orgasm ever. Didn't you know that about me? Yeah, I've been faking it this whole time.' See? That would be bad. Plus, I just don't think my body is wired to orgasm that way. Trying would take the fun out of it all.
What do you think of Jessica's confession? Should she fess up to her husband so they can work on getting her to climax? Or don't mess with what's not broke, since she says she's okay with it?
*Name has been changed.
Image via Jasmine Hutcherson/Flickr
Written by Michele Zipp on CafeMom's blog, The Stir.
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