Sex: It's a Laughing Matter Sometimes

Andrea Frazer, Good Housekeeping

I had a good run there for a while. I was exercising daily (both in and out of the bedroom), eating well, staying mindful on a spiritual and intellectual level... heck, I was even doing my hair. But then the mother of all volcanoes hit, and my good habits went out the window.

Sure, Rex is back from Germany now, and we had a few nights of awesome reunion nookie. But what hasn't returned is my sense of humor.

Motherhood, in all honesty, has worn me down. I'm not proud of it, but the fact is, I am beat to a pulp at the end of the day. Is it Rex's job to fix it? Certainly not. He has helped immensely just listening and being my back up. But when I've put the kids to bed at 7 for a night to myself and it's now almost 8 and I can STILL HEAR FOOTSTEPS AND WATER RUNNING upstairs... like my car key every school morning when I'm running hopelessly late... I'm going to lose it.

This means by 9PM I have not unwound. Which means I need an extra hour to gather my thoughts but ooooh noooo... Rex is ready for bed at 9PM. But since I'm not, well, that just means one more night of us not hitting the hay at the same.

This means 2 things:

1. No sex, which ultimately makes Rex cranky, which in turn makes me cranky, which in turn makes me less interested in sex later.

2. Rex falls asleep; I come sneaking into bed at 10PM. Despite my best efforts to be "as quiet as a mouse" I will trip on a power card and cause my water to crash like a druggy off a high, sending shards of glass all over the floor. This makes Rex cranky, which makes me cranky, which means... repeat the conclusion to #1.

There is an easy solution to all this madness. It's called, "Do the best you can with the kids and forgive yourself for not being perfect." When I do that, I'm happy, Rex is happy, the kids get consistent consequences, and maybe, just maybe, I can take that stick out of my butt and learn to laugh like I used to.

Many articles chat about the power of laugher during sex. I can think of a few instances that have caused us some belly rolls. But dressing up in a costume like one article suggests? Well, now we're talking real belly rolls. And for me, that's no laughing matter.

How are you moms and dads doing out there? Have you found a healthy routine that keeps your stress level down with the kids so that you can enjoy each other more? One mom in a parenting group I belong to swears by Kathryn Kvol's parenting methods. With solutions for kids to back talk, power struggle, and fight bedtime, I might have the energy to stop engaging in these behaviors with Rex, also.

I wish I were kidding.

Seriously, people, I was supposed to be a better mom than this! I was supposed to be a more energized wife! Oh, wait! I am sometimes? You mean, life can sometimes bite you in the arse and all you can do is start over again the next day? Oh, fine. That's too simple.


Posted by Andrea Frazer


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