Skip the bridesmaids if you want to have friends

If you really want to torture a friend and make her hate you, by all means, make her a bridesmaid. Oh it doesn't outwardly seem like such an awful "honor," but the fact is, most women hate being bridesmaids more than five extra pounds during bikini season.

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Don't believe me? Consider the phrase, "always a bridesmaid, never a bride," or the way Pippa Middleton was described as being so envious of her sister, the princess. Think of the movie Bridesmaids. The fact is, being a bridesmaid is expensive, time-consuming, and yes, sometimes even envy-inducing as well. Just ask the British bridesmaid from hell who stole all the bride's bachelorette party money and vanished.

Awesome. Of course I had my own bridesmaid from hell, too.

I was married more than eight years ago, but this woman's behavior still stings. She had been a close high school friend, but we had drifted apart. Still I remembered that she told me she would be mad if I didn't ask her to be a bridesmaid. So I did, with the caveat that she was welcome to say no and I wouldn't be hurt at all.

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Instead she said yes and proceeded to complain about everything, from the food we served to the cost of the dresses. She talked about me behind my back to the other bridesmaids openly (which they told me). She refused to participate in the bridal party gift to the bride, which would have cost her $20, but instead created a really awkward moment where I thanked everyone and she had to tell me it wasn't from her.

Worst of all, she sent me passive-aggressive cards talking about past relationships and basically saying, "Gee I hope this one works." The lady was insane. And by the end of it all, I (and all the other bridesmaids) hated her. Even having her stand up for me was more than I could handle. She and I haven't spoken in eight years, but even now, when I think of it, I am deeply annoyed.

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The fact is, a bad bridesmaid can ruin a friendship. If I had it to do over again, I would have had my sister and my two best friends and that's it. Unless you're swimming in very good, awesome friends and can afford to buy each maid her dress for her, then my advice would be to skip the bridal party and just enjoy a drama-free wedding.

Did you have a bad bridesmaid?

Image via makelessnoise/Flickr

Written by Sasha Brown-Worsham for CafeMom's blog, The Stir.

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