Stay Golden

I have spent too much of my life apologizing for being who I am. I have said, "I'm sorry but I feel…I'm sorry but I think…" and so on and so on. I have offered words of excuse for being a bit eccentric in my living, for being too emotional, for having outrageous ways of thinking and thinking outrageous thoughts, for being a "marshmallow" around those who might take advantage and for having the audacity to make some really stupid choices.

I have mistakenly assumed I needed permission to be a little broken when we all are a little broken. That is what we humans are. Our lives, if we live them, are lived at a cost. Our hearts, if we use them, do not come away unscathed. None of us should offer apology for being the people we are and stepping out into this great unknown and exploring it even if we become tattered and worn a bit. Being broken does not mean we are unusable and have no value. There is a lovely quote about it and I hope I am giving credit to the correct author of it:

When the Japanese mend broken objects, they aggrandize the damage by filling the cracks with gold. They believe that when something's suffered damage and has a history it becomes more beautiful. ~Barbara Bloom

I do believe this to be true of us humans on this Earth. Our life experience is what makes us of the living. Our life is the gold filling in all of the cracks and broken parts, making us stronger and more beautiful and causing us to sparkle and shine. It is not in our most perfect moments that our character is built. It is in the darkest ones, the silent ones, the troubled ones-this is when our true colors show and this is when we decide what we will do with them. Will we make spectacular rainbows or will we just turn them into a mud puddle? Will we allow the golden parts of our living breath to make us beautiful?

The time to say you are sorry is when you have hurt someone maliciously or even unintentionally. Yes, even if we meant no harm, we should ask forgiveness if we caused it. We should not apologize for being true to ourselves and living our lives the best we can. We should not beg remorse for singing off key, telling corny jokes, dancing badly or alone, for laughing too loud or crying too hard and dressing badly in society's eyes. We shouldn't be embarrassed to have our own thoughts or feelings or beliefs as long as we are not hurting and destroying anyone else by doing so.

There is no need to atone for the sins we haven't lived just because someone doesn't like who we are or what we do. We don't need to make excuses for not being perfect and failing miserably at times as we keep trying to get it right. We don't need any reason to be just who we are and we don't need to apologize either that we may not be what others think we should be. There should be no shame in being broken. The mended pieces of our souls are merely battle scars from living life courageously like true warriors are meant to do.

Monika M. Basile