Surviving the Monster Known as 'Online Dating,' and Maybe Even Meeting Your Match!

Shock and disbelief await you when you go online dating. Just be aware.
Just when I dared to dip my toes back into the dating pool of "online dating," I made a self-discovery: I was determined to do it right this time. I'd been on 'Plenty of F**ks', (as a funny character named it on an anonymous forum [thanks for that, F_U_Duck]), and gave up on the whole "online dating" thing over a year ago.

In retrospect, I think I just wasn't ready to start dating again. But I've been "working out" emotionally, and read lots of material since then, and feel confident about going in for a second round. Plus, my brain is super muscular by now. *flexes muscles in brain*

(not to plenty of f**ks, but OKCupid is ringing my bell so far).


So what is my vast knowledge in online dating? Well not much, other than how to create the best profile. But, here are my little "nuggets of wisdom" I've picked up on by myself (and ironically, the relationship coach I'm freelancing for now advises the same. Phew, saved myself hundreds of dollars by using "common sense").

Don't take things personally. How many of you do what I did (at the beginning) and blew your top when a guy suddenly flaked out or pulled a "no show" on you? Consider it a blessing: he has shown you that he's not to be trusted on keeping his word (or doesn't show interest all together) and it gives you the power to make a clean cut (hopefully, near the beginning of a dating relationship). Look at it this way: there are lots of toads among the frogs you're gonna have to kiss, so don't get offended when they show their "true warts." Cut them loose and move to the next prospect. Yeah, Mr. Andrewbaggar-- you blew it with your 27-year-old hot self. By the way, the DJ was a good kisser on the night you decided to stand me up.

Don't stop communicating with or dating other men, even when you meet a guy you like. Don't even start imagining "exclusivity" with a guy until he asks for it, first. Remember: you are the trophy, and he has to work for it to "win you." Taking you out of the "single dating pool" will require an exceptional man, and you need to hold out for the one who takes all the necessary steps to get your attention. Besides, rose colored glasses don't become you, so stop wearing them. The right guy will show his true colors of affection without you "sugar-coating" him.

Related: how not to ruin your life with falling for cyber romance.

Stay local, and avoid the kamikaze long distance 'cookoo.' Yes, I'm guilty-- even after my flop with Mr. Hillbilly from Ky... who was married. Please don't ask. But low and behold, Mr. Hot Young Thang with 90% compatibility comes my way, and "BAM!", I'm right back to contemplating how to "make it work" from 1800 miles away. Then he pulls the hot and cold act on me for a week. Eh. Not fazed, but sad that the good-looking ones who are compatible are so fricken far away. I think I was born in the wrong state. Look, there's got to be a hot, compatible and available guy within 50 miles of you. If not, you are a Trekkie who is a vegan, liberal right, has a 50 pound tumor on your back, talks with a lisp, has turrets, and shops for clothes at the Goodwill. Or, your feet stink. I don't know, but it would be unusual to not find someone you can relate to in that vicinity.

Keep an open mind, open heart, and go outside the box. This means, don't just stick with your "type" when it comes to romance. How has that been working for you so far, while I'm talking about it? I read something funny lately and I think I'll share it will you all:
Nice guys are ugly.
Good-looking guys are jerks.
Good-looking guys who aren't jerks are gay.
Semi-good-looking guys who aren't jerks are married.
Semi-good-looking guys who aren't jerks and are single are shy, and recoil if the woman makes the first move.

Got the picture yet?
OK, so not every guy will fit into that picture, but if you're holding out for the .05% of the population who is "perfect," be prepared to take a lot of time sifting through the riff raff known as everyday people.
Online dating

Good luck with your online dating endeavors, and get back to me on your progress. Let me know of any success stories. Don't be discouraged if you have to go on multiple dates (and get lots of warts from kissing toads). If it was easy, you wouldn't appreciate success as much. Otherwise, you can always follow my footsteps and blog your failed attempts. It's really fun, by the way.