5 Ways to Know You're Over It
By Alex Johnson for BounceBack.com
Breakups. They can lead to so many self-destructive behaviors. When we find ourselves in the middle of the storm, some of the most common things we find ourselves doing are: ignoring our loved ones, not eating, or in some cases over-eating, listening to sad music, watching bad TV, avoiding the neighborhood they live in for fear of running into them when you are wearing track pants and un-shampooed hair. Or even worse, wanting to call them to tell them after you have had a few cocktails that you miss them and now you've come across as the desperate or pathetic one.
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Below are 5 clear signs that after the storm settles you are over the breakup:
1. Come out of hiding: During the first phase of any breakup you can really only go two ways. Lean on your support system whole-heartedly or go into hiding and unplug yourself from the rest of the world, while your food comes delivered in a carton. You will know you are over it when you find yourself reaching out to coworkers, family members, friends to see what THEY are up to and not needing to talk, think, or analyze about the past relationship. Just like the bears that hibernate all winter season; they too need to come out and smell the fresh, clean spring air. You will feel so glad you came out to stop a smell the flowers.
2. Music: It is the soundtracks to our lives. Living in New York City, it is actually a rarity that you see someone without something in their ears pacing through the crowded streets to whatever song they selected. However, when in a funk, we tend to have that music that accompanies our mood. It is that day when you set foot out onto the street and you find yourself listening to that upbeat song rather than that gut-wrenching tune. That is when you know you are on the right beat to your happiness.
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3. The phone: Modern day phones have become our official lifelines. When you are in the middle of that great relationship, it is the phone that is your best friend. The calls, text messages, emails, tweets and Facebook statuses that appear on your phone are ways to let your partner know how you both feel about each other. Fast-forward to the breakup and suddenly your phone is now your enemy. No longer is there communication from your ex, but there will be a day when you look at your phone, go under "Contacts" and you see yourself no longer needing that person's information. DELETE. Trust me, deleting someone's information from your phone is the modern day equivalent of burning past love letters in the fireplace…so therapeutic.
4. Laughter: Ok, we all know that with a split there will be tears, anger and even sometimes snot. Ick. It is rare that you hear someone express that there was anything funny about the separation process and you think to yourself, "When will my life have any humor in it again?" Life in general will be one big emotional rollercoaster and with that rollercoaster there will be fun, excitement and laughter. When you had a tough day at the office and you laugh, suddenly it seems a little bit easier to get through the rest of the day. The same applies when dealing with heartache, there will come a day when laughter will be the only cure you need and suddenly you are looking for the next someone or something to make you smile.
5. Waking up: Listen. We ALL have experienced this one. Where you actually crawl into your bed, draw the covers over your head and want to stay there, praying that the entire episode never happened. Most of the time, this rest period is needed but in no way, shape, or form does this mean life will be like this forever. From my experiences with my own breakups, I actually look forward to the day after a painful ending where I suddenly wake-up and no longer want to pull the covers up but rather push them away, start the day and go back into the world with my head held high. The same goes for those out there as well. Waking up physically and metaphorically is a clear sign you are over the breakup.
Related: Hard Times As A Path to Happiness
There are many steps, signs and passages to the healing process of a breakup. However, the one true crystal clear way you know you are over the breakup is when you know in your heart and in your soul that you are ready to bring someone back into your life.
BounceBack.com helps people find happiness in the right relationship. If you've been through a breakup, divorce, or just haven't been able to find happiness in your love life,BounceBack is a place to tell your story, get community support and advice from experts, and find the confidence and strength you need to move forward. Check out our Facebook page.
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Alex Johnson is a freelance writer and is currently living in New York City. Follow his blog about love, dating and all in between at: www.updatenyc.net