What His Texts REALLY Mean

Smitten, Glamour Magazine

Jeff Wilser,Glamour magazine

Now that you know What Men Are Really Trying to Tell You, we're moving onto those indiscernible texts. Sometimes, decoding text messages from a new guy can be tricky. Enter our little "he texts/he means" guide--because who knew a text about his sister's ring tone is such a positive sign?

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He texts: "Can't come by tonight. Big meeting in A.M."
He means: "Not interested." Very few meetings are more important than sex. The signing of the Treaty of Versailles, the Continental Congress of 1776, and most gatherings in the Situation Room make the cut; almost nothing else does.

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He texts: "U around? Wanna hang out?"
He means: "Yes, I know it's midnight and I could have sent you a text earlier this week to make proper plans to take you on a proper date, but I didn't do that. You're cool with just being a booty call, right? If so, hit me back. Also, I'm s--t-faced."

He texts: "My sis' ring-tone is that song u liked from Country Strong. Random, right?"
He means: "I can't get you out of my mind, and I will make any excuse, no matter how flimsy, to stay in touch with you." Inside jokes are the lifeblood of male intimacy.

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He texts: "Hey my friends and I are watching the game later. U should come join us."
He means: "I like you a lot--probably more than I realize--and I want to share my life with you, but as a male, I am legally forbidden from ever using the phrase 'share my life with you.'"

Do any of these translations ring true? What's the most cryptic thing a guy has texted you?


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