The Death of Romance

The days had seemed as longs as the corners of the earth for her. She paced the floors of his hospital room as he laid there in a coma. The curtains drawn on the one widow in hopes that a little sunshine of gratitude would help to encourage him to come out of it and live with her once again. It was still in the room other than her constant pacing. The sound of the heart monitor ordered every step she took. Her strides were slow and prayerful.The look of sadness and confusion covered her face with the shadows of yesterdays and yestermonths memories. They were in the middle of a unresolved conflict, the she would find would not meet it's full end till that day.

"God, why? I was willing to live a life without having a man. I had given up on ever having one and You sent me this man only for him to die. I'm angry! I'm confused! I'm tired of the emotional baggage that's coming with love" She prayed and paced, "If You just bring him back I'll be happy and take better care of him. Please don't leave me alone again. This is an utter tease, to give something only to take it away when I adjusted to not having it. This is so unfair. Lord, what would You have me to do!?! Lord, he is dying! Don't You care?" falling to her knees, she cried from the pit of her stomach "Why?"

Since Romance's arrival to the hospital, and the days turned into months, there were moments where he would come out of his coma and she would get to talk to him face to face. Hug him, smell him, and even get a little irritatedly tickled at the things he would do to annoy her. Before a new and wonderful memory could be created, he slipped back into a coma. Sometimes even undergoing cardiac arrest. She could tell he was hurting. The struggle to stay was becoming all to hard for him to do. The longer he held on, the longer he suffered.

However, they had been given a gift. That even in the midst of his coma, they still managed to communicate. She would use those moments as best as she could. She tried to persuade him to come back to life with all the things to be thankful for. She tried to persuade him to come back to life by telling him how much she was hurting behind his condition. No matter her efforts, he only seemed to worsen. Eventually his heart had begun to decay so bad that he needed to be attached to a machine just to keep it pumping, but it was so severed that it began to serve no point.

Eventually, she reclined in a chair by his side. Her mind wondered as she curled up in the chair with the blanket the hospital had given her. Still listening to his heart monitor. Her thoughts were broken by a knock at the door. A woman, who would seem to be in her mid 60's, helped herself in. The green sweater and dark denim jeans that framed her pear shaped body indicated that she may had not been a nurse. She was confused as to why the woman would want to see her. Maye the woman had the wrong room.

"Hi, sweetie", the woman said with such a warm look on her face. A slight smile and, yet, a look of sympathy.

"Hi" she hoarsely let out, clearing her throat along the way. She had been silent for a long time now and her vocals were tight. Her puffy eyes from crying made it hard to keep them directed towards the womans face. Often times glancing towards the floor as to not strain them too.


"You're Juliet. Aren't you?" the woman replied. Smile as big as her heart.

"Yes"

The woman continued to slowly inch closer to Juliet. By the time she reached Juliet's chair next to Romance frail body, Juliet could not hold her head up high enough to capture the full face of this woman. The pain in her eyes were all to heavy. The pain in her heart was all too great. The woman gently grabbed Juliet by the arm. Insisting that she rose to her feet. The womans touch was as warm as her presence. Juliet could not help but to follow her leading. The woman sat down and guided Juliet to her lap and bosom. Allowing Juliet to rest her head on her shoulder, she wrapped her loving arms around her.

"Do you know who I am?" the woman asked.

"No" Juliet sadly gave.

"Well, honey, my name is Ms. Wisdom Discernment."There was a slight pause. Juliet thought that was an interesting name to have. Ms. Wisdom continued, " Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. But first seek His kingdom and these things will be given to you."
Juliet recognized those biblical scriptures but she could not understand where this woman was coming from.

"Juliet, you sought His kingdom the moment you asked Him what He wanted of you. If He knows that life is more than food, do you not know that He would provide to fill you with what you need beyond food for your life? If He knows that the body is more than clothes, do you know that He would provide to fill your body with what you need beyond clothes?" Ms. Wisdom began to stroke Juliet's hair, "Has He not shown you that continuously?"

Juliet was aware of the "He" the woman was referring to. Yes, she was aware of His provision for her life, but she was also aware of the many loses she suffered through out the past year. "He" had allowed her to lose her schooling, survival funds from her schooling, her son's loss of success through home schooling, her children's father removed from their lives in such a manner that it shattered any hopes of having the family she always wanted, the loss of her bother to murder, loss of a new sister to illness, the loss of Great Grandmother to old age, and more. It was all too overwhelming. Now, "He" was taking something else from her again. How much could she take? Tears began to flow from her cheeks and onto the heart of Ms. Wisdom. She blankly stared at Romance's body, still resting on the shoulder of the woman. She whispers in almost a sense of numbness, "But he's dying. I can't save him." She thought for a second, "And He won't save him for me"

"Oh, I know, sweetie. You sound kinda like Mary and Martha praying for Lazarus. You know that story. How they sent word to Jesus about their brother and Jesus decided to stay where he was a few more days." The woman chuckled a little. Juliet's head moved with the bounce of the womans chest. "Oh, yeah. It's hard when things are silent. But we both know the ending to the story." Ms. Wisdoms smile growing bigger at just the thought.

"He resurrected Lazarus"

"Yes, that's right, child"

"But He isn't resurrecting Romance"

"Well, my dear Juliet, you must come to realize that in those times there was not the usage of machines to keep the body going until we decided to pull the plug. Giving us enough time to accept the concept of death. You have been given that blessing. Remind you, there can be no resurrection with out death, dear. You are still holding on to him. You must let him go fully."

Juliet did not like that concept at all. Yet, she understood clearly what Ms. Wisdom had spoken to her.

Ms. Wisdom sensed Juliet's heart of hesitance in embracing what she must do. She began to encourage her, "Honey, for where your treasure is there your heart lies."

Juliet was familiar with that scripture as well. Was it not reasonable to make Romance her treasure? After all, he was dying.

Ms. Wisdom continued, "You know the good ol' story of Abraham and Issac. Oh, how Abraham loved his son. He was his promised child. Yet, he was asked to sacrifice him. That sounds kinda like you too." Ms. Wisdom smiled once again, followed by another chuckle, "Here you are banking on a promise that your need will be provided for. Yet, your being asked to sacrifice the very thing you feel like you need."

"But Abraham was given an alternative to his son once they made it the mountain" Juliet voiced her thought. This time with a little more emotional energy than before.

"Baby, the lesson is not in the method in which was used to keep the promise. It is about the fact that He will" She placed the tips of her fingers under Juliet's chin, forcing her to lift her head and weary eyes to gaze right into them. "It hurts. I know. Baby, I know. But let us not miss the lesson of where Abraham's treasure actually lies. That's the secret. It was not in the child, nor the promise. Can you figure out where his treasure was?"

"With Him."

"Yes," the woman whispered in confirmation, "Now you know what you must do."

Slowly Juliet gained the spiritual understanding of her reality. The thought overwhelmed her so, that she began to historically cry, gripping onto the woman as if the tighter she held, the more likely the woman would change her reasoning. Ms. Wisdom just held on as well, rocking back and forth, rubbing her back and head, shushing away Juliet's pain.

When Juliet had cried all that she could, she rose to her feet. Wiping the tears from her eyes, she approached Romance's sleeping body. She kissed him for the last time as passionate as she could.

"I love you," she whispered to him," You are my heart no matter what." She rubbed his head and savored the vision of him one last time. Then she took a step back. Placed her hand on the machine that continued to pump his heart. Took a deep breath, and turned it off. The flat line chimed the whole room.