The Ghost of Relationships Past: Reflect to Bounce Back
By Monique Zamir, BounceBack Editorial Staff
Relationships usually feel like the greatest thing imaginable when they're at their best, but quite the opposite when they're at their worst. Either way, when you're in the throes of a relationship, you don't always see things the way you would once it's over and you're on the other side, looking back.
It's kind of like when you think it's a good idea to eat an entire greasy, extra cheesy pizza, sugary-soda and wings all in one sitting; that is, until an hour or so later when your digestive system says otherwise. In hindsight, that idea was a terrible one, and although you may have known that before, at least in the back of your mind, you disregarded it.
This is why it's so important to take the time after a breakup to examine your relationship, and figure out what caused things to happen the way they did. You're more aware of different instances after the fact than you are right in the middle of it. So if you're going through a relationship breakup, try to take a step back from mourning your loss and give some thorough consideration to the relationship from the perspective of someone that is out of it. You'll probably find at least some benefits to not being involved in that situation any longer.
This isn't to say that all relationships are bad even if they seem to be great - there obviously are relationships that are wonderful to be in. However, for all the blissful aspects of a relationship, there are circumstances that at the time can be disregarded, but in hindsight can take on new meanings and understandings.
So even though moving in together after 6 months of dating seemed to be a fantastic idea, post-breakup you may have realized that it wasn't the right thing for you to be doing at that moment. And if you look deeper into your last relationship, you may find that there were certain aspects or characteristics of your ex that would've made you rethink dating them had you known about those characteristics sooner.
If you use this as a coping mechanism to help you get over your breakup, you may find that putting things into perspective like this can help you bounce back and move on faster than you would have otherwise thought.
Monique is a writer and recent college graduate transitioning to the working world. She currently resides in New York.
BounceBack is helping people find happiness after heartbreak from a relationship breakup or divorce. It's a place to tell your story, get advice from experts, and share what you've learned with others in similar situations. Heartbreaks happen to everyone. And we believe everyone has the potential to bounce back to life and move forward. www.bounceback.com
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