The Mid-Life Crisis Beard? We're concerned about you, Jon

Photo by: Getty Images
Brad Pitt-
This past spring no one could find Brad's face. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that he's got enough kids to start a day camp, and a wife who's younger and ... more 
Photo by: Getty Images
Brad Pitt-
This past spring no one could find Brad's face. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that he's got enough kids to start a day camp, and a wife who's younger and more famous. It was around this time that reports surfaced about the couple's non-stop fighting. Recently, Pitt shaved off the goatee, around the same time his wife told press what a great dad he is. Coincidence? Just saying. less 
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Thu, Oct 6, 2011 2:42 PM EDT
Uh oh. Jon Stewart's new facial hair, which he debuted on the Daily Show, looks suspiciously like some one else's mouth frame. HINT:



As a fan of Jon, I trust his judgment. But this new beard is setting off alarm bells. For the first time in his wildly-supported career, he's fending off allegations of sexism. He's also 47, an age when many a man feels the initial thrill of marriage, kids and career wane. Cue crazy facial hair.



Now this is sheer speculation but when a guy grows a bizarre beard out of nowhere, it can be a cry for help. Remember when middle-aged guys would buy a fancy car or a moped as an expression of freaking out? Now they just grab attention with their face, fawning over each pore like they were waxing a Corvette.



Think about it: they're spending a lot of time in front of the bathroom mirror, they're examining the lines in their face, they're testing the boundaries of their identity. "Maybe I could rock a pirate look," they think after reading an article about Johnny Depp. Or maybe "I could pull off a Jeff Bridges in Crazy Heart thing," in the case of Stewart. Hey, if I could toy with my own facial hair, and still have the opportunity for sex, I'd do it too. Especially when I was feeling like things were out of control.



Consider a few recent examples of celebrities who grew their facial hair and lost their s***. Seriously, it's a thing.